What is it about schizophrenia that causes so many with it to refuse to face what they have?

Something to do with making them feeling that they would then be invalid maybe. That so much of their life experiences, so much of what has given their lives meaning probably wasn't even real. That they actually aren't special. It was just a defective mind and they do have drugs for that...

You would have to face that more or less your whole life had just been a charade. And that you aren't actually up to the task of truly overcoming the outside forces that plague you, that actually it's just you. And you can be easily labeled and dismissed. That in fact you're not even all that unusual really.

I've been wondering about me in this regard. I don't have schizophrenia but I seem to have a lot of little unusual things, or at one time did. Been wondering if they make many of my present thoughts invalid. I think they don't. All they've really done is nudge me towards casting a critical eye in a certain direction. The fact that I have casted my eye in certain directions might suggest I've certain issues, but it doesn't seem to have much bearing on the final conclusions I come to. I utterly face how wrong I may be. And how unfortunately right the established way of doing a given thing may ultimately be. I really am pretty damm openminded.

The fact that my eye has been cast in certain directions probably at least partially as the result of a bunch of what could be called "issues" doesn't make me invalid.

Like Aspergers? Just a shade maybe? I don't know. Maybe a little. Aspergers is a problematic thing to me though that in the description of it some of it just sounds like being an eccentric and interesting person. When I go on about The Fake Smile though I wonder if that shows some issues with understanding emotions. That I'm bothering to look further into such a thing because it doesn't come so innately to me as it does others. But then, perhaps it's just that I really do like to ask why so much more than normal. Because I do, definitely.

Whole host of other little things that all in all... eh. It only somewhat directs the line of inquiry. And nothing wrong with that. Maybe a lot of time wasted thinking about futile issues. Reinventing the metaphorical wheel. A waste of time. Too Far Future. But that's already understood.

If one is happy then they just conform and don't question so much. (Usually.) If one isn't, (because one way or another they've got issues), then they question the established order of things.

But then one can be perfectly happy and yet be compassionate and see that this world is treating so many horribly, and see that there is such potential for so much more happiness and on that basis also question the established order of things.

One can be a bit of both. In either case it only means asking why. There is nothing invalid in doing that. If your conclusions to such questions are just assertions without any logical chain of reasoning, then there's a problem.

Anyway, the fake smile. In most of my life I've not felt like smiling upon meeting someone. As opposed to aspergers it's really just that I wasn't in a good enough mood to want to smile. Then also I don't like my smile. Me going on about aspergers is mostly just an example of me being quite willing to look at potential faults in myself, then me being all that unusual really in how I interact with others.

Lately I have been genuinely wanting to smile when I see people. So I'm getting old and happy I suppose.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081124/ap_on_re_us/truman_syndrome#full

I wonder if this is related Kundera's Imaginary Eyes? Of course there is a very important difference. That difference being actually still knowing what reality is.

But does everyone really have imaginary eyes upon them? I don't think so. Perhaps they do and just don't realize it. Much like they cry without understanding what's going on. Or like there aren't actually any real atheists.. (sigh). I dunno. But it seems to me it's quite possible that many people don't actually have imaginary eyes upon them. Perhaps this edge of schizophrenia (where you have such bizarre things going on but yet still know what reality is) is also the essential beginnings of creativity.

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There is a point of view. A view which attempts to encompass the entire world and in so doing finds a great lacking; finds an absence. And because of this situation; there are many actions which normally would be absurd.... dangerous, futile.... that instead are better than nothing.

But then at other times... these people aren't trying on a POV that encompasses the entire world and finds a lacking... and then so many of their actions seem absurd, dangerous, futile....