http://k-punk.abstractdynamics.org/archives/011182.html
I would agree that they pose a threat to themselves, but in some ways they are more toxic to those with projects than the trolls. It's quite easy to identify and distance oneself from a troll: once you've established they are a troll, sever all contact with them and - this is imperative - don't read anything they write. This requires a little discipline, but not much, and after a while you'll completely forget the upset they caused. For what is usually a very short period, trolls cause a great deal of incendiary, fruitless antagonism, but it seldom leaves much of a lasting trace. The final victory over them is achieved by simply persisting in the pursuit of a project, refusing to allow yourself to be ensnared in the self-doubts and impotent autocritique that disables them and which they seek to transmit to you.
I find this a strange way of talking. I can understand the idea of a troll just wasting your time. But ultimately it's good to have some kind of an answer to all criticisms. This instead almost seems to be espousing the necessity of being closeminded in some respects in order to just do something instead of doing nothing. One could read it actually as being an example of downright comical closedmindedness.
OTOH I do see the possibility of losing one's creative spark as a result of getting in mind some negative audience that no matter what is going to just tear down whatever you say.
I have thought of this before how this idea of an audience, this idea of finding ways to continue wanting to be creative can tie into actions that end up appearing closeminded. A most obvious example being I've the comments closed in this blog. As does this fellow, who though isn't out stranded in the dark like me. Unlike me, he matters. He's a part of academia and has endless important conversations with others about philosophical matters. I feel slightly jealous. And then furthermore there's Schopenhauer's comment about the cuttle fish (fortified by my own obscurity) which I usually have in mind when reading most of these philosophers...
Still trying to figure out what to make of supervalent thought's blog. I like the subject matter but 'cinematically mediated queers'?? You mean gay people on TV? I think I'll just learn the lingo (and thus eventually not notice how incomprehensible to the average person it appears) before I come to a conclusion as to whether or not this is a valid example of 'writing beautifully' or some kind of pretentious, dishonest behavior...
So then there's the question of asking supervalent thought her thoughts on writing beautifully while not being comprehendable by 98% of people while talking about an important subject. Asking such a question then of her or just stating my annoyance for how hard she makes it to understand easy concepts, either way I can be labeled a troll.
But I shouldn't be. She ought to be able to have an answer. Probably she doesn't and I won't even bother of course as the possibility for it to be considered a negative thing is too great. But she ought to have an answer. I ought to be able to ask and get an answer instead of being stuck trying to reinvent the metaphorical wheel and figure out entirely on my own which is the correct way to write ("beautifully" or in a way that people can easily understand). Well, it's seems a silly question, surely one should try to be easy to understand? Maybe if it's just some escapist fun one can enjoy writing with a flair for language, but she's talking about suicide; I'd assume because she actually cares about people unfortunately committing suicide.
Me pointing out such a criticism would though just be thought of as being stifling to her creativity most likely and I'd be dismissed as just a troll.
Showing posts with label imaginary eyes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label imaginary eyes. Show all posts
Saturday, May 9, 2009
This idea of cultivating an imaginary muse/imaginary eyes. I wonder if the very concept of being sentient (being self aware) means having imaginary eyes. To be self aware there must be a something that is aware of a something. The one is you, the other is the imaginary eyes.
These eyes can be a very conscious thing that we pretend is a lover, friend, etc. Or among other things they can just be ourselves watching ourselves. In the latter it can be a very subconscious/unconscious process.
I wonder if this all can go too far and become schizophrenia. The imaginary eyes are really just us. The person with schizophrenic tendencies could start thinking it's actually someone else.
You can have a pretend conversation with yourself, with your imaginary eyes. But what if the imaginary you gets out of control. Starts acting on it's own. Or at least seems to be doing so. Then like one person who's got a couple of songs I really like and are linked to from this blog, your computer starts talking to you and you jump out the window.
These eyes can be a very conscious thing that we pretend is a lover, friend, etc. Or among other things they can just be ourselves watching ourselves. In the latter it can be a very subconscious/unconscious process.
I wonder if this all can go too far and become schizophrenia. The imaginary eyes are really just us. The person with schizophrenic tendencies could start thinking it's actually someone else.
You can have a pretend conversation with yourself, with your imaginary eyes. But what if the imaginary you gets out of control. Starts acting on it's own. Or at least seems to be doing so. Then like one person who's got a couple of songs I really like and are linked to from this blog, your computer starts talking to you and you jump out the window.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
About this blog
This blog was originally an experiment in creativity.
Personal experiments can be comically painful things. Not only in failing spectacularly but also in that it can end up appearing the experimenter must be a nutter, as they may be doing something other than just conforming.
I can conform quite well, but I recognize all too well when I'm just mindlessly conforming and as I look at the world it seems I'm correct in believing I should be questioning everything.
So this blog started as an experiment but is multiple things and slowly changes from day to day in terms of tone and level of conformity and what I'm experimenting with, etc. The original experiment had to do with something Milan Kundera mentioned: the concept of imaginary eyes. He claims that everyone has imaginary eyes upon them. He said you could be imagining the whole world, or a group of friends or your lover or, rarest of all, an imaginary person. You imagine these eyes are watching you. You can pretend to talk to them. They care about your life. They make you feel not so alone, etc.
Kundera didn't mention it but I wonder if some people's imaginary eyes are 'god'. I also wonder if all people actually have imaginary eyes. I've asked around and of course people claim they don't. But all of us hardly understand what's going on within us a good part of the time, so unfortunately all the time people will adamently claim things that aren't necessarily true. I think that most of us sometimes do and sometimes don't feel as if we have imaginary eyes on us. Not literally, not paranoid schizophrenia, but often just in terms of a separate part of us that is constantly reassessing our actions. But that often we hardly notice as being something separate. I think perhaps the ability to cry takes a belief, on some level, that someone is watching, someone is at least present who could potentially care; as crying is the form of unhappiness (sadness) where we are appealing for help.
This blog was originally, primarily, an attempt to cultivate the eyes of an imaginary person upon me whom even if I haphazardly write something down that isn't well explained, they'll understand and be interested in it. This as opposed to microsoft word where it at least used to be that I imagined I was utterly alone and who really cared? In the beginning this stifled my creativity. I needed to imagine someone was listening.
Why not just have real live people who actually are listening? Unfortunately one can rarely be totally honest then. And one has to constantly worry about being misunderstood.
So first and foremost that was the original point of this blog. Imaginary eyes or an imaginary muse to get my creativity going, to start actually producing something. With a long term goal of writing fiction, etc...
Secondly, or just the first point expressed somewhat differently, this is something to try to help me avoid writer's block and to just remember all the endless little more or less original things I've thought up. (Not necessarily anything that is truly original, but things that I reinvented I suppose.) I really like the labels/key terms function. It's nice to be able to scroll down through the words and quickly remember concepts and be able to click and immediately all the stuff I've written on such and such is compiled.
Thirdly this is a sort of diary. The idea of going through life and just forgetting pretty much everything I've thought and been bothers me. Forgetting is a sort of death. But I've never been able to keep a normal diary. I can never stand to go back and read what I've written in the past. Can never stand my previous stupidity and feeling so sorry for that unsuspecting person about to get blindsided by such and such future disasters... I find it works better here.
4. I can conform. I can act normal. I can be relatively happy in the real world. But I'm not ....much worried about doing such things here. Here I am purposely trying to find fault with society. Trying to figure out better ways to live, etc. Reinventing the metaphorical wheel. I am looking at unhappiness. I can be happy but I purposely try to spend much time focused on problems/unhappiness as a result of my ethical code.
The name of this blog, the too far future, refers to the most essential quality of humans in determining how they act, that being the degree to which they are short term or long term thinkers. The more long term you are, the more you 'waste' your time being altruistic, not turning away from unhappiness; the more time you spend thinking about things for which there probably won't be found any solution in your lifetime.
The picture at top was painted by Van Gogh two days before he killed himself. I think that if we truly and utterly break free of all conformity, truly and utterly quit finding ways to mentally frame things so that we'll feel happy, and instead look at the world 'objectively' it is really kind of awful. Understand though, that the understanding of this awfulness is not strong at all in my mind. Weak enough that at times I feel I really need to be reminded of it by doing things like posting Van Gogh's last painting.
Why oh why would I torture myself so?
Because someone ought to. Someone needs to check out that other barely discernible path. Maybe it leads somewhere better?
5. I leave the comments closed because I don't want my creativity stifled by having to worry about the endless obvious points I'm not having time or remembering to mention here. Again, I'm trying to be critical. I don't really need to worry about some person taking issue with my criticisms. This doesn't mean I'm a closeminded person. I love to be told I'm wrong but this here is the formative stage of creativity where criticisms get in the way. As time passes I may eventually post less and less often here (and get more into actual fiction writing) and then when I do bother to post it may be more well thought out and perhaps some day I'd even open up comments.
Also comments open would really wreck havoc on the whole imaginary eyes/muse concept.
6. People I communicate with who know of this blog,
Please, please don't assume what I write here has anything to do with you. In fact if I say something negative about some anonymous person in this blog, you can basically be certain it isn't about you. Even when I say negative things about any other people by the way, I always believe they can change, and although at times I've vented, in the real world there is no person I hate. None at all. I recognize we are all imperfect but all capable of change.
Also please, please don't think my reason for communicating with you is necessarily related at all to the purposes of this blog. Whatever communications I've done that have been tied (linked back) to this blog, have been just to be nice, etc. Me just following my ethical code and/or finding people I'd want to be friends with/see such as possible..., etc. (Or really wanting to ask a question and not having a better way to do it.) Although as far as making friends, I really think this blog would unfortunately scare off all but the most intelligent.
Personal experiments can be comically painful things. Not only in failing spectacularly but also in that it can end up appearing the experimenter must be a nutter, as they may be doing something other than just conforming.
I can conform quite well, but I recognize all too well when I'm just mindlessly conforming and as I look at the world it seems I'm correct in believing I should be questioning everything.
So this blog started as an experiment but is multiple things and slowly changes from day to day in terms of tone and level of conformity and what I'm experimenting with, etc. The original experiment had to do with something Milan Kundera mentioned: the concept of imaginary eyes. He claims that everyone has imaginary eyes upon them. He said you could be imagining the whole world, or a group of friends or your lover or, rarest of all, an imaginary person. You imagine these eyes are watching you. You can pretend to talk to them. They care about your life. They make you feel not so alone, etc.
Kundera didn't mention it but I wonder if some people's imaginary eyes are 'god'. I also wonder if all people actually have imaginary eyes. I've asked around and of course people claim they don't. But all of us hardly understand what's going on within us a good part of the time, so unfortunately all the time people will adamently claim things that aren't necessarily true. I think that most of us sometimes do and sometimes don't feel as if we have imaginary eyes on us. Not literally, not paranoid schizophrenia, but often just in terms of a separate part of us that is constantly reassessing our actions. But that often we hardly notice as being something separate. I think perhaps the ability to cry takes a belief, on some level, that someone is watching, someone is at least present who could potentially care; as crying is the form of unhappiness (sadness) where we are appealing for help.
This blog was originally, primarily, an attempt to cultivate the eyes of an imaginary person upon me whom even if I haphazardly write something down that isn't well explained, they'll understand and be interested in it. This as opposed to microsoft word where it at least used to be that I imagined I was utterly alone and who really cared? In the beginning this stifled my creativity. I needed to imagine someone was listening.
Why not just have real live people who actually are listening? Unfortunately one can rarely be totally honest then. And one has to constantly worry about being misunderstood.
So first and foremost that was the original point of this blog. Imaginary eyes or an imaginary muse to get my creativity going, to start actually producing something. With a long term goal of writing fiction, etc...
Secondly, or just the first point expressed somewhat differently, this is something to try to help me avoid writer's block and to just remember all the endless little more or less original things I've thought up. (Not necessarily anything that is truly original, but things that I reinvented I suppose.) I really like the labels/key terms function. It's nice to be able to scroll down through the words and quickly remember concepts and be able to click and immediately all the stuff I've written on such and such is compiled.
Thirdly this is a sort of diary. The idea of going through life and just forgetting pretty much everything I've thought and been bothers me. Forgetting is a sort of death. But I've never been able to keep a normal diary. I can never stand to go back and read what I've written in the past. Can never stand my previous stupidity and feeling so sorry for that unsuspecting person about to get blindsided by such and such future disasters... I find it works better here.
4. I can conform. I can act normal. I can be relatively happy in the real world. But I'm not ....much worried about doing such things here. Here I am purposely trying to find fault with society. Trying to figure out better ways to live, etc. Reinventing the metaphorical wheel. I am looking at unhappiness. I can be happy but I purposely try to spend much time focused on problems/unhappiness as a result of my ethical code.
The name of this blog, the too far future, refers to the most essential quality of humans in determining how they act, that being the degree to which they are short term or long term thinkers. The more long term you are, the more you 'waste' your time being altruistic, not turning away from unhappiness; the more time you spend thinking about things for which there probably won't be found any solution in your lifetime.
The picture at top was painted by Van Gogh two days before he killed himself. I think that if we truly and utterly break free of all conformity, truly and utterly quit finding ways to mentally frame things so that we'll feel happy, and instead look at the world 'objectively' it is really kind of awful. Understand though, that the understanding of this awfulness is not strong at all in my mind. Weak enough that at times I feel I really need to be reminded of it by doing things like posting Van Gogh's last painting.
Why oh why would I torture myself so?
Because someone ought to. Someone needs to check out that other barely discernible path. Maybe it leads somewhere better?
5. I leave the comments closed because I don't want my creativity stifled by having to worry about the endless obvious points I'm not having time or remembering to mention here. Again, I'm trying to be critical. I don't really need to worry about some person taking issue with my criticisms. This doesn't mean I'm a closeminded person. I love to be told I'm wrong but this here is the formative stage of creativity where criticisms get in the way. As time passes I may eventually post less and less often here (and get more into actual fiction writing) and then when I do bother to post it may be more well thought out and perhaps some day I'd even open up comments.
Also comments open would really wreck havoc on the whole imaginary eyes/muse concept.
6. People I communicate with who know of this blog,
Please, please don't assume what I write here has anything to do with you. In fact if I say something negative about some anonymous person in this blog, you can basically be certain it isn't about you. Even when I say negative things about any other people by the way, I always believe they can change, and although at times I've vented, in the real world there is no person I hate. None at all. I recognize we are all imperfect but all capable of change.
Also please, please don't think my reason for communicating with you is necessarily related at all to the purposes of this blog. Whatever communications I've done that have been tied (linked back) to this blog, have been just to be nice, etc. Me just following my ethical code and/or finding people I'd want to be friends with/see such as possible..., etc. (Or really wanting to ask a question and not having a better way to do it.) Although as far as making friends, I really think this blog would unfortunately scare off all but the most intelligent.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Interesting, or at least soothing... Combining the unreal with the "real" to make it "soothing". It's not enough to be interesting...
---
Ritual. What of it?
"This complex system was understood in its entirety only by Sourdust - the technicalities demanding the devotion of a lifetime, though the sacred spirit of tradition implied by the daily manifestations was understood by all."
Gormenghast
I suppose there's something about ritual which is soothing. But what?
Knowing it's "right", without having to bother actually thinking about it. How nice to shrug off responsibility and instead defer to some unknown other.
Anything else?
---
Short flim clip of people/person's who think they're talking to someone, realize they aren't, and then decide to continue with just pretending someone is listening.
---
Avoid saying who's doing the talking as much as you can without giving the reader extra work. (And of course unnecessarily saying who said what is also extra work for the reader to skim over.)
---
Ritual. What of it?
"This complex system was understood in its entirety only by Sourdust - the technicalities demanding the devotion of a lifetime, though the sacred spirit of tradition implied by the daily manifestations was understood by all."
Gormenghast
I suppose there's something about ritual which is soothing. But what?
Knowing it's "right", without having to bother actually thinking about it. How nice to shrug off responsibility and instead defer to some unknown other.
Anything else?
---
Short flim clip of people/person's who think they're talking to someone, realize they aren't, and then decide to continue with just pretending someone is listening.
---
Avoid saying who's doing the talking as much as you can without giving the reader extra work. (And of course unnecessarily saying who said what is also extra work for the reader to skim over.)
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Well, the fear is gone today. Not sure though if I'm supposed to respond to someone who might have mistakenly thought the fear pertained to her or not... (edit: No. Pretty sure that's my stupid mistake to think that. Nevermind.) I just can't tell. Asking lots of questions of "strangers" is considered rude unfortunately. And furthermore I wouldn't want to constrain anyone's creativity. So I just don't know!
Beautiful posting though on your part all the same... But if it pertains to me... indirectness isn't my thing. Only mentioning it here and not by email because I don't want to pester and potentially constrain creativity... (Big shoulder shrug here...) Yes, I think of you but not quite that much! I think of lots of things.
And, I don't know about you reading this. I've mention you probably shouldn't. I mean you can if you want... But I just don't think it's a good use of time probably on your part. It's very low quality stuff. Not considerate of any real audience. The imaginary eyes I'm trying to talk to (here) if nothing else have all the time in the world and can't be hurt...
----
D is coming back to the area. D is married, like me, and has a crush on me. She hasn't made this apparent by little stuff like certain looks and flirting. She's just straight up made stuff known... in an almost downright frank manner... but not quite. So I feel stuck at a halfway point between usual dishonesty and truth; in some place well... I don't mean to seem to be referring to someone else's blog post the same as they may not really be referring to mine despite the fact that it really seems otherwise... but indeed here (with D) (I suppose with other people too...) I don't know quite what the correct boundaries are... And so D will want to hang out and I shall be uncomfortable I think. Hope to find a way around feeling uncomfortable.
She has symbolized me. I can't do the same in return because then our spouses will get really unhappy. I feel like I have to be careful to not say anything too encouraging... It's maybe an unfixable ugly situation. Would like to just be frank with her. We don't work together anymore so that's more possible now. Might want to check if her husband owns a gun first... More worried about him just getting depressed as they almost put him away once for that... (Well, more worried just in general because I am a nice person.)
----
And then there's S. She likes me like that also I'm sure. But has handled it much better. We're safely in dishonesty land.
I think S becomes a better person when I'm around and vice versa. Not the case with D. I become less of a person around D while she walks on water.
----
Trying to understand why I feel comfortable around S but not D. Thinking in terms of honesty is one way to look at it. But then... writing is the illusion of thinking you understand people; including yourself it could just be that D is very chipper and a tad vacant ultimately while S is somber and somewhat intellectual. It could be this or that or some other. But D's coming back. So I'll have more time to try to understand what in the world that strange feeling of uncomfortablness is about.
I was thinking just feeling symbolized might be the problem. It's nice to be liked, even for the wrong reasons it's still slightly nice. To the extent that I am the real me around her the symbolization jars against reality. Perhaps I can see it happening right on her face everytime it does. And find myself reflexively trying to be that vague symbol instead of who I actually am. Which is uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. I don't even quite breath right at times when talking to her. Ridiculous.
I really want to understand what the hell that is about.
It could just be that despite a lot of outward appearances we don't really have enough in common to warrant hanging out together at all. But that doesn't warrant feeling so uncomfortable... But then maybe it just feels as if she's so different from me it's kind of scary. Which would still be ridiculous.
Beautiful posting though on your part all the same... But if it pertains to me... indirectness isn't my thing. Only mentioning it here and not by email because I don't want to pester and potentially constrain creativity... (Big shoulder shrug here...) Yes, I think of you but not quite that much! I think of lots of things.
And, I don't know about you reading this. I've mention you probably shouldn't. I mean you can if you want... But I just don't think it's a good use of time probably on your part. It's very low quality stuff. Not considerate of any real audience. The imaginary eyes I'm trying to talk to (here) if nothing else have all the time in the world and can't be hurt...
----
D is coming back to the area. D is married, like me, and has a crush on me. She hasn't made this apparent by little stuff like certain looks and flirting. She's just straight up made stuff known... in an almost downright frank manner... but not quite. So I feel stuck at a halfway point between usual dishonesty and truth; in some place well... I don't mean to seem to be referring to someone else's blog post the same as they may not really be referring to mine despite the fact that it really seems otherwise... but indeed here (with D) (I suppose with other people too...) I don't know quite what the correct boundaries are... And so D will want to hang out and I shall be uncomfortable I think. Hope to find a way around feeling uncomfortable.
She has symbolized me. I can't do the same in return because then our spouses will get really unhappy. I feel like I have to be careful to not say anything too encouraging... It's maybe an unfixable ugly situation. Would like to just be frank with her. We don't work together anymore so that's more possible now. Might want to check if her husband owns a gun first... More worried about him just getting depressed as they almost put him away once for that... (Well, more worried just in general because I am a nice person.)
----
And then there's S. She likes me like that also I'm sure. But has handled it much better. We're safely in dishonesty land.
I think S becomes a better person when I'm around and vice versa. Not the case with D. I become less of a person around D while she walks on water.
----
Trying to understand why I feel comfortable around S but not D. Thinking in terms of honesty is one way to look at it. But then... writing is the illusion of thinking you understand people; including yourself it could just be that D is very chipper and a tad vacant ultimately while S is somber and somewhat intellectual. It could be this or that or some other. But D's coming back. So I'll have more time to try to understand what in the world that strange feeling of uncomfortablness is about.
I was thinking just feeling symbolized might be the problem. It's nice to be liked, even for the wrong reasons it's still slightly nice. To the extent that I am the real me around her the symbolization jars against reality. Perhaps I can see it happening right on her face everytime it does. And find myself reflexively trying to be that vague symbol instead of who I actually am. Which is uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. I don't even quite breath right at times when talking to her. Ridiculous.
I really want to understand what the hell that is about.
It could just be that despite a lot of outward appearances we don't really have enough in common to warrant hanging out together at all. But that doesn't warrant feeling so uncomfortable... But then maybe it just feels as if she's so different from me it's kind of scary. Which would still be ridiculous.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
In plays and such, there's the protaganist and this part where a chorus sings about him. Drawing a blank concerning examples, but I recall it many times. And wondering about it. Who were these people, this chorus, where'd they come from? How bizarre.
They're the imaginary eyes. The reassurance of the imaginary eyes defeating the futility of life, the endless actions that don't matter, that are fogotten by all. They are angels watching your life.
And perhaps related to god. Being able to enjoy their place in the art. If you feel any positive feeling in them. You're "believing" in god/magic.
What are other examples where on a mostly unconscious level one is "believing" in "god/magic"? Crying... There were others but it's been a 17 hour day. (14 hour workday).
They're the imaginary eyes. The reassurance of the imaginary eyes defeating the futility of life, the endless actions that don't matter, that are fogotten by all. They are angels watching your life.
And perhaps related to god. Being able to enjoy their place in the art. If you feel any positive feeling in them. You're "believing" in god/magic.
What are other examples where on a mostly unconscious level one is "believing" in "god/magic"? Crying... There were others but it's been a 17 hour day. (14 hour workday).
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Instincts do exist. The amygdala. I forgot. Reinventing the wheel isn't very fun most of the time.
Changing one's mind can be such a beautiful thing. Or it can be the realization of failure. Which is just not beautiful. Well the failure isn't the realization of being wrong. It's the realization that someone might waste their time reading such utter effing crap and I'll be dammed if I can Really worry about such things to the point of doing something different. (sigh) Can just feel bad about it. Will figure it out soon. Being considerate versus figuring out a way forward with creativity.
----
Nurse Grey changes so much. Purposely vague. Fill... it with your own vague ideas...
Gimmicks. Tricks. Dishonest?
What of a book that literally was a pefect download of all information as some event really happened? Is that better or worse than purposely withholding information? Seems withholding is such an important part in multiple ways, not just with stories or art. I dislike like doing so though.
Changing one's mind can be such a beautiful thing. Or it can be the realization of failure. Which is just not beautiful. Well the failure isn't the realization of being wrong. It's the realization that someone might waste their time reading such utter effing crap and I'll be dammed if I can Really worry about such things to the point of doing something different. (sigh) Can just feel bad about it. Will figure it out soon. Being considerate versus figuring out a way forward with creativity.
----
Nurse Grey changes so much. Purposely vague. Fill... it with your own vague ideas...
Gimmicks. Tricks. Dishonest?
What of a book that literally was a pefect download of all information as some event really happened? Is that better or worse than purposely withholding information? Seems withholding is such an important part in multiple ways, not just with stories or art. I dislike like doing so though.
Monday, November 24, 2008
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081124/ap_on_re_us/truman_syndrome#full
I wonder if this is related Kundera's Imaginary Eyes? Of course there is a very important difference. That difference being actually still knowing what reality is.
But does everyone really have imaginary eyes upon them? I don't think so. Perhaps they do and just don't realize it. Much like they cry without understanding what's going on. Or like there aren't actually any real atheists.. (sigh). I dunno. But it seems to me it's quite possible that many people don't actually have imaginary eyes upon them. Perhaps this edge of schizophrenia (where you have such bizarre things going on but yet still know what reality is) is also the essential beginnings of creativity.
----
There is a point of view. A view which attempts to encompass the entire world and in so doing finds a great lacking; finds an absence. And because of this situation; there are many actions which normally would be absurd.... dangerous, futile.... that instead are better than nothing.
But then at other times... these people aren't trying on a POV that encompasses the entire world and finds a lacking... and then so many of their actions seem absurd, dangerous, futile....
I wonder if this is related Kundera's Imaginary Eyes? Of course there is a very important difference. That difference being actually still knowing what reality is.
But does everyone really have imaginary eyes upon them? I don't think so. Perhaps they do and just don't realize it. Much like they cry without understanding what's going on. Or like there aren't actually any real atheists.. (sigh). I dunno. But it seems to me it's quite possible that many people don't actually have imaginary eyes upon them. Perhaps this edge of schizophrenia (where you have such bizarre things going on but yet still know what reality is) is also the essential beginnings of creativity.
----
There is a point of view. A view which attempts to encompass the entire world and in so doing finds a great lacking; finds an absence. And because of this situation; there are many actions which normally would be absurd.... dangerous, futile.... that instead are better than nothing.
But then at other times... these people aren't trying on a POV that encompasses the entire world and finds a lacking... and then so many of their actions seem absurd, dangerous, futile....
Thursday, August 28, 2008
The imaginary eyes here are ruined thanks to some small altruistic act I made the mistake of performing. Shall go private then I guess. Really like the labels feature here though.
Whatever to keep my creativity going provided it doesn't harm others.
---
Hofstadter's loop (infinite referencing loop) theory of consciousness is interesting.
---
Dividing the mind like Eckhart Tolle into ego, etc as opposed to thinking in terms of a whole that just varies in scope from person to person....
Whatever to keep my creativity going provided it doesn't harm others.
---
Hofstadter's loop (infinite referencing loop) theory of consciousness is interesting.
---
Dividing the mind like Eckhart Tolle into ego, etc as opposed to thinking in terms of a whole that just varies in scope from person to person....
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Beginning
So then... because someone else's blog meant something to me. Because I'm motivated to think so ridiculously hard and it's a shame that it will... probably all be for... not much.
Didn't for years for many reasons....
1. Over 1 million blogs exist? That's sort of ridiculous... Not that anyone shouldn't be heard... But still sort of ridiculous. But then they're mostly just baby pictures... And it took me 6 years to find a single one that was interesting. And I often search all kinds of topics/phrases and am appalled that nothing turns up. So many people... how could this be?
2. The Imaginary Eyes. Milan Kundera mentioned the concept (amazed me I hadn't really thought of it before) that everyone imagines someone watching them. He mentioned:
A. The anonymous multitudes. (Actors, etc.)
B. A close circle of friends, etc.
C. A loved one.
D. Something totally imaginary.
He didn't mention "god/s". Considering how people talk surely some are actually imagining "god" or whoever watching them. But the way even the majority of devout christians act I think they must not always be imagining him/her watching.
Personally, what I imagine is also not consistent. It's this and that. It's just about always somewhat imaginary as virtually no one is as we imagine them as.
With a blog I just might create some imaginary eyes I could do without. In fact... it's probable. We shall see.
3. I have a tendency to go on like Eeyore. Eventually I get disgusted with myself and also create very ugly imaginary eyes watching me do so. I know this for certain because I've already done so with my music that I have online.
4. Blogs seem like so much self important crap littering the internet....
All the same here we are.
So anyway, I'm motivated to think too hard. I think too far into the future. Because I'm somewhat zombified/unable to have a good time in the short term it seems. It's unfortunate but it seems that the most "moral"/altruistic are this way basically, which shoots a bit of a hole into being highly moral. But only to the extent that it gets me off my high horse somewhat.
Didn't for years for many reasons....
1. Over 1 million blogs exist? That's sort of ridiculous... Not that anyone shouldn't be heard... But still sort of ridiculous. But then they're mostly just baby pictures... And it took me 6 years to find a single one that was interesting. And I often search all kinds of topics/phrases and am appalled that nothing turns up. So many people... how could this be?
2. The Imaginary Eyes. Milan Kundera mentioned the concept (amazed me I hadn't really thought of it before) that everyone imagines someone watching them. He mentioned:
A. The anonymous multitudes. (Actors, etc.)
B. A close circle of friends, etc.
C. A loved one.
D. Something totally imaginary.
He didn't mention "god/s". Considering how people talk surely some are actually imagining "god" or whoever watching them. But the way even the majority of devout christians act I think they must not always be imagining him/her watching.
Personally, what I imagine is also not consistent. It's this and that. It's just about always somewhat imaginary as virtually no one is as we imagine them as.
With a blog I just might create some imaginary eyes I could do without. In fact... it's probable. We shall see.
3. I have a tendency to go on like Eeyore. Eventually I get disgusted with myself and also create very ugly imaginary eyes watching me do so. I know this for certain because I've already done so with my music that I have online.
4. Blogs seem like so much self important crap littering the internet....
All the same here we are.
So anyway, I'm motivated to think too hard. I think too far into the future. Because I'm somewhat zombified/unable to have a good time in the short term it seems. It's unfortunate but it seems that the most "moral"/altruistic are this way basically, which shoots a bit of a hole into being highly moral. But only to the extent that it gets me off my high horse somewhat.
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