I prefer creativity which has an interactive quality to it; where one is sort of experimenting, not really knowing what the outcome will actually be (at least not entirely...). With music one can imagine music in their head but with playing an actual instrument there is a degree of flexibility where one must work with the instrument and let it 'speak' to them. The same still with simply programming music on a computer. Certainly with multiple tracks and endless virtual synthesizers but even with just a plain piano track where you're slowly working your way along, looping bits as you inch forward. How does this sound...? How about that...?

But then I recall some guy who makes a living composing classical saying he has to hear it all in his head. There doesn't appear to be anything interactive in doing that. And then there's writing. It doesn't seem to very interactive.

Both appear to just be trying to painstakingly reproduce something that is already in one's head. And that just doesn't strike me as fun.

Or I could say it doesn't strike me as interesting. It's all just me. There's nothing I'm interacting with which is showing me things, such as an instrument or VSTs/music sequencer.

Each time I bother to write a song there is an essential curiousity at work; thanks to the feeling that I'm interacting with something which may show me interesting things.

I on the other hand have lots of music in my head. But I'm finding that for the most part, to the extent it sits already completed in my head, I've no interest in successfully bringing that music into the real world.

It's already in my head. Such a process would just be frustrating (full of failure) combined with not interesting. As there'd be nothing actually learned by just pulling it out of my head exactly as it is. (And to the extent I don't pull it out exactly then it seems like failure.)

Oh well there's other ways to think of this.

I'm lately motivated to possibly... probably try a new medium. Some sort of creating of a virtual reality. In part thanks to Rideflame. But here I see, the same as with fiction writing, the problem of a lack of interaction. Instead just painstakingly creating what's in my head.

People say that writing is a process of discovery and/or that they think through a problem themselves through writing a story. But it seems such a strange way to go about working through problems.

Almost the equivalent of someone rocking back and forth for the reassuring quality of it (back to the womb). So then the story form has a reassuring, calming quality to it. And maybe is a pulling back to a psuedo objectivity.

Or I don't know? Really I don't understand it. If I want to think about something I just think about it. Thinking about it in terms of a story is no good as there is so much about stories which are false in order to appeal to man's innate primal nature.

Eh, I don't know.

Would be nice though if writing, etc, mediums other than just music felt interactive as opposed to just being attempts to reproduce something in my mind exactly as it is.

There is additionally being able to listen to music, whereas... one maybe isn't going to be rereading their books, for example. I guess a little time may be spent rereading a finished book, but really not much. Too much would just be very weird ultimately. Whereas one can play music in the background without totally concentrating on it in order to create a mood.

..I'm trying to use my productivity in music to find a way forward into other mediums.

Just rambling really though.

It seems for other mediums the way forward is thinking in terms of a type of coping. And perhaps solidfying the coping to be used through writing it down. For possibly doing mapping...? I'm not sure. Was thinking very much in terms of a... 'coping'. And maybe the term 'coping' doesn't entirely make sense. One could say everything is coping. Eating, exercising, etc. In the virtual reality/mapping one can have music also. But then the question is: to what extent is one going to return to what one has created?

Is it solidfying a coping mechanism? (Like future fiction writing might perhaps be for me.)
Or is it like writing music?

I guess I better write it down. Preferably somewhere I won't lose it.

The fictional book has a dystopia. There's no convincing the reader it's a dystopia. There's no carefully pointing out how certain actions much like what commonly occur in our own world are a big part of how it's a dystopia. There's no trying to convince the reader of what's right and wrong. There's certainly no grand scheme for fixing the whole world. There's just hero/s whom are finding ways to cope with the situation. Not exactly just merely surviving. But finding/applying positive coping mechanisms.

Along the way various insights may be included but never ever in a manner that they get in the way of the story at all.

It may be that to a large extent what could have been learned will simply fly over the readers head. Oh well. There is fiction and there's nonfiction.

...I think of Devo. And how their message, which wasn't really that hidden, (but was partially hidden as it would have pissed a ton of people off) was missed by almost everyone it seemed. Devolution. We're evolving into a stupider race. Our idea of a good time is getting drunk and laid. Being really (noncompartmentalizedly) smart is like having a disease.

They weren't hiding it much.

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Mongoloid he was a mongoloid
Happier than you and me
Mongoloid he was a mongoloid
And it determined what he could see
Mongoloid he was a mongoloid
One chromosome too many
Mongoloid he was a mongoloid
And it determined what he could see
And he wore a hat
And he had a job
And he brought home the bacon
So that no one knew
Mongoloid he was a mongoloid
His friends were unaware
Mongoloid he was a mongoloid
Nobody even cared

A guy has Down's Syndrome but no one even notices because everyone else is at about the same level. Endless such songs parodying everything in our culture that disgusted them and, for all their preachiness they might as well have been mumbling grocery lists.

So it flies over everyone's head. Oh well.

Vancian coping was stoicism. That's why it appealed to me so much.
Salvatore appealed to me in that the dystopia/versus the compassion of the hero resounded with my own life. His coping was also.. stoicism.

Another coping is turning things into the absurd. Another is focusing on the welfare of others instead of the self. (Thank god for children?) What else? Religion/mysticism/art..., love, well... then maybe endless others. Could say everything is a coping mechanism. But focusing on the coping mechanisms of 'the hero'.

The books that gave a euphoric feeling had the hero's with coping mechanisms that were new to me.

There is also Ayn Rand's heros. Her coping mechanism was thinking you're superior to others and that The Game is all there is. Endless competing against all other people. The individual against all others. That is Life. That is The Way. Love it. Become it.

Such is the coping mechanism of a monster.

There is also Milan Kundera's coping mechanism. His was showing that yes, he agrees, life is horrible. Look at this. See? I understand. I agree. But I'll go further. I'll show you that it's even worse then you thought. In fact it's so bad that what you must do is give up. And turn to relatively small bits of happiness. Like a nice hot piece of ass. A beautiful sunset. That's all one can hope for.

Kundera is probably right but a real hero would not agree.