The only way it can be "remembered" in a way that it's right there for you, readily available at all times, and not in the sense of remembering where you have to sit down and think at all really about it, is by having a classification system.

Do all people classify?

How much does the complexity of the classification system matter with regards to then becoming bored?

Does the owner of an intricate system stave off boredom appreciably better than someone who's system is perhaps vastly oversimplifies?

Is the "correct" classification system intricate? Or does everything reduce down into very few categories? Is it a lack to not be able to reduce much? Or is oversimplification the lacking?

To not classify is to more live in the moment.
To be busy remembering the past is also to more live in the moment.
To quickly glance at something, know you've seen it many times before and classify it and ignore it, is to live less in the moment. One does this enough and eventually there is nothing left. Might as well be a worm wiggling through homogenous material which supplies energy.

There is on the one hand, incredible frustration with this society, with it's social norms, and the feeling of the need to utterly reject it, to furthermore make a statement, to take symbolic actions to express my disgust, my anger, to make it clear... to who? To me, at least, to some imaginary god perhaps, to others I think I must think, but ought to know better.

There is on the other, the reality that all others are just trying to adapt to it, and utterly oblivious to what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, utterly clueless that it's the entire whole of society to which I'm reacting. People just trying to get by from day to day who would be baffled at best if I showed anything of what I'm feeling. To these people I can it seems at best just hide everything, and keep things pleasant, albeit forever meaningless.

Pleasant and meaningless while I know the future holds absolutely nothing. Pleasant and meaningless while I want to randomly scream in every direction.

I want to make a statement that it is nothing. I want to expose it. This is like... I see the golden dream in the distance, I want it, and instead get something meaningless. Always just the meaningless. The dishonest. Anti-truth. The empty. But I can pretend this meaninglessness is something else. And in pretending it can give some nourishment. So do I accept it or throw it away?

Without it, will I starve?

And, will I hurt others in the process?

Will anything good be accomplished?

The thought is that by rejecting it I might reach the golden dream someday, that I will reach truth, the meaningful, that even if I don't, I'll be true to myself at least...

But I'm just starving, and possibly hurting others. Albeit probably not really. Mostly just appearing bizarre.

To speak the truth when it will do no good?
To instead lie?
To just say nothing at all.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. ~Ambrose Bierce

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The swing between boredom and pain (fear more so than pain really), from tick tock to chop chop. Now I make that swing once again. Not so much chop chop now. A lot of boredom, nihilism. Looking at this world and being beyond disappointed. We might as well just chop chop chop all night long. We don't know how to do much else really.

When the chop chop was heavy I was really into going out occasionally with S, with D. Now I'm not. Now I just think that I've really nothing in common with these people other than sexual parts that fit together. And so perhaps it would be better if I didn't go out with them. What in the world ever was I thinking before? That being gregarious was some kind of good thing? Now with the chop chop not so looming over me I can look a bit more closely and see 'hanging out' with such people a bit better for what it is: a waste of time at best.

S though works 6 days a week and is struggling to survive. The chop chop is heavier for her and also she's younger. Hasn't realized how pointless it all is. In fact she may even be a virgin despite being 28. And I think she's adopted some nauseating positivity act to try to end that. It's sad that she's not found a man yet. I do find her very attractive. All the more reasons to stay away.

Really, no reason, not even close to enough in common, to warrant me having anything to do with anyone at all that I know who lives in the same state as me.

The alternative then, at first appears quite depressing. I've no children to distract me, to focus my life on. It's me and my wife. Whom, actually also I don't really have much in common with.

And so nihistically I ask: what is life? Other than merely surviving what are we doing?

Not much of anything really.

It seems life is so short though. A mere blink of the eye and it's past. And people spend the first 25 or so years just trying to get their survival secured. And then by about 40 they're all but finished. Nothing much to live for but whatever children they've got.

For me what can I do with my free time? Meaningless stuff.

And what I've got to do, I suppose, is narrow my focus so that I don't pay quite as much attention to how meaningless it is.

So then: Write. Which I seem to be getting better at. Compose. Read. Get around to playing some video games. Make stuff. Etc. Right now shall work on alphabetizing my library. (Fiction, nonfiction, odds and ends...) Then will upload my Vancouver pictures. Eat some stew. (Back to using the old crock pot.) Try to find some sleep in there before work tonight. I bet The Man Without Qualities by Musil will make me fall asleep. Etc, till I eventually die. And that's it. Other than merely surviving, that's it. That's all this life will hold for me. The main game is finding a way to continue bothering. Which, I think, consists of having a certain myopia. But at the same time I do want to not be too myopic, though it hurts me to not be so. Because I want to hold on to some extent always to the viewpoint where I've stepped back and see the bigger picture. No matter how awful it is.

Definitions

The seven 'deadly sins': Pride, Anger, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony, Lust, Greed

Gluttony, greed and (excessive) lust are all variants of the same thing. They're all attempts to move away from nonexistence which end up being excessive. (Although I'm not too sure when (if ever) lust gets excessive exactly. Fellini's Casanova?) They are straightforward attempts at happiness that are failing.

Sloth or laziness is an existential problem where you can't really see the point in doing anything. No matter what you do you won't actually be moving away from nonexistence so why bother?

Envy is where you see that someone else has some valuable thing that you perceive possessing would move you away from nonexistence. Envy is tied into hate/anger as we're hardly planning on using reason to take away the thing from the person. Instead some form of force is used.

Anger is about wanting to use force because you perceive that some person stands between you and decreasing your distance from nonexistence. And you think they can't be reasoned with.

(Excessive) Pride is more interesting. The dichotomy is pride versus humility. But it's quite close to being closedminded versus openminded. Excessive pride is like arrogance, being too sure of yourself, too convinced you're right, that you're wonderful, etc. All of that is basically just closemindedness. While being humble instead can mean seeing that you could be wrong, that you hardly know anything, etc, which means basically being openminded.

But of course what they really wanted was for people to bow down to god, considering him all powerful and themselves as disgusting bugs in comparison. This idea entirely trumped the openminded/closeminded idea that would have been of such great use. So people think of pride versus humility and they picture some imaginary god that is so so great compared to them. They're pitiful in comparison and should meakly follow the rules he has already laid out for them. And so that's what they do instead of seeing pride versus humility as being the same as closedminded versus openminded. And so they're humble before an imaginary god but arrogant before all real people.

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'Unhappiness' is the perception of moving closer towards nonexistence. The essential types are anger, fear, sadness and existential nihilism (boredom, laziness...). When you perceive that you are moving towards nonexistence is there any alternative than these 4 essentials?

To try to overcome your feelings of anger (or hate, frustration, annoyance...) you can at least recognize what's going on. You think someone can't be reasoned with so you're subverting to your monkey ancestry and wanting to basically beat the crap out of them to force them to do as you say.

It is at least better to feel anger then fear. With anger you've at least got an idea what you actually want to do to remedy the situation. Some entity is causing you to move closer to nonexistence and they need some force! Fear is on the other hand perceiving that you're moving towards nonexistence and being very doubtful about what action you can possibly take.

Sadness is the form of fear where you want help from others. Sadness is better then fear right up till others reject you/will not give you any help. Although at least then you've got a bit more to work with to turn instead to anger...

One can get away from anger, fear and sadness by going instead to existential nihilism. (Instead of being stressed, realize that life is ultimately a short and meaningless thing.) And then when they get sick of that they can hopefully instead go get stressed out again.

Otherwise one can attempt to change their perception of the situation. (By actually changing the situation or by some other way.)

I'm not entirely sure where disgust/revulsion belongs. It is the considering of some thing that we perceive would move us closer to nonexistence but that we don't really perceive it to be that much of a real threat. And/or we take a step back and try to look at it 'objectively'. It seems it can be tied to fear or anger.

A person must have a certain amount of positive social interactions and euphoria to balance out the boredom and fear. Some people turn to drugs to quiet the fear which is otherwise a constant. A constant which stops them from having the positive social interactions, etc that are essential to a life worth living.

I need positive social interactions pretty much every single day to feel right. And just my wife isn't enough. Although email is a pale thing compared to how we've communicated for 99.9% of our evolution, even that definitely can make a positive difference in me.

I get a couple emails and I sit here with a happy little smile on my face. My wife walks in and asks what I'm smiling about and I didn't even realize I was happy and smiling.

Work is a huge part of what we are. Without work many people just sit at home. The social interactions there... you can't entirely be you. At least most people can't. It's a bit of an acting job. And first off, if you're and honest person, having to act in the first place can really bother you. Secondly, the acting of it is a form of dishonesty which keeps relationships less real and meaningful and instead quite pale and hollow. Yet, work is a huge part of our social interactions.

In fact without work, many people pretty quickly are just stuck at home with nothing. The positive social interactions of work, (pale and hollow though they are) gone. Replaced by what? The new craze is facebook. It's somewhat pale and hollow, like email but worse. Because you're out in public posting under your real name where what you've said is stored forever and ever, so be careful! Don't say anything that someone might disagree with!

Still, facebook, work, and even email, they are 'positive social interactions' that we Need.

I can see email in that sometimes it's good to be able to think a bit more of what you're saying and what the other person is saying. Where in a face to face talk I might just be like, "Duuuhhhh". (Probably not.)

There is an accumulative effect of these positive social interactions, even though they may be just at work or facebook or email. There is definitely something. Something beyond the actual information received. Something emotional. Some positive change that can occur.

But at the same time a couple of days without any of them and quite quickly it feels that something essential is missing. Not like a drug being taken away. But something that as a human being is simply essential.

I do think we should return to a sort of communal living. Was thinking of say a huge house with a common center (kitchen, etc) and then spokes coming out from it that could be private areas. We need more positive social interactions that have more honesty then you can have at work or facebook, that have more sensory input then you get from email or facebook.

And we need to learn to get along with one another better. Learn to be openminded instead of dropping one another in the search for people more closely identical.

...I could see each little communal house ended up like the Hatfield's and McCoy's. Today there is the idea that outside of the family people (some people will honestly admit) don't really give a shit about anyone. But the blood/marriage family doesn't really provide enough so we still do bother to some extent, bother with being nice, dealing with other people. The problem with a communcal house of 50.... 75, etc people is that it would come much closer to providing all the emotional involvements you need, such that you could truly say to hell with everyone else, and descend to neotribal wars.