Monday, April 28, 2008

Fake smiles

There is reality. There is making do with reality, finding a way to be happy within it. And then there is instead rejecting it. Saying it's not good enough. Searching for something better.

Just to try to say the latter sounds ridiculous. And hardly anyone does it really.

But to be utterly honest is to do the latter. To put on a "fake" smile is the former. To be considerate is to put on a fake smile for them and turn 'not much' into some little piece of happiness. And the goal is that it shouldn't be fake. You have to make yourself actually feel that smile. For them. To make them happy. To bring some small happiness into their lives right then and there.

To search for some distant utopia in the too far future is to not smile. To sit stony faced, although pleasant enough... usually. But to be honest often falls outside being pleasant. And as a truth seeker searching for truth, practicing the golden rule, that ought to be fine.

Except you're surrounded by people not living for the too far future. People living for today. People who need halfway worthwhile, halfway livable memories today. They hide their unhappiness from you out of consideration for you....???? You should do the same?

Pangloss the world? Put on a smile no matter how ridiculous? Make a happy moment out of consideration for them?

Strike some balance? Where the illogical smile, conjured from a half pretend world brings some little bit of of something standable into this one? But where we end up learning to hide too much negativity from one another. Destroying communication. A hell hidden by a stepford (sp) mentality. Where everyone is too nihilistic to seek any meaningful truth. Too tired to believe any real change is possible. http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6308420

?

If I strike a balance. If I do both. I'll not be acting so very consistent. This inconsistency will seem dishonest to me. But I have it in me though. After so long I can conjure a smile again. Finally.

I sort of have to forget utopia and think this dystopia is magical. This silly joke of a world. Out there is nothing of merit but within me there is something. The utopia is within. And I must just bring it out instead of looking around and reflecting how I see it nowhere around me.

...but it's unscientific. To partially hide the truth.

To hide the negative and share the positive is like throwing out the experiments that had results you didn't care for. It's utterly unscientific. It destroys the concept of truth seeking. One can either be honest all the time (at least with some people, in some medium...) or they must say to hell with learning. They must say to hell with learning much of anything. Let's just survive tolerably till we die.

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