http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1_E6pHa3hc
What happened to the good music?!!

(Puberty most likely quit happening. But the music corporation monopoly is increasing....)

--

Figured out a way to apply composing music to writing. In music instead of trying to write that perfect song that will change the world, that will make me famous. Instead of going down that kind of sick industrialized road where there's one artist for hundreds of thousands or millions I've somewhat embraced the random.

The random as opposed to this nebulous word: 'creativity'. Maybe the two can be thought of as opposities. A story, a musical track, the notes, the elements can seem relatively random or they can seem to be the perfect thing which brings it all together in such a useful way.

My music is held back because of worrying about the random. Drums especially. Why am I changing the drums here? Why not just the same repetitive beat the whole way? I'm just randomly making a change.

With the knowledge a thing is totally mindless, totally random, I hold back from bothering. The same issues arises in writing stories except worse. There are so many possibilites. It can't be helped that something random is going on to some extent.

The way forward with music has been simple curiousity. How would certain relatively random elements sound when put together?

Then of course to some extent it's not just random. Things do 'fit' together.

And this curiosity is a short term immediate reward. And there must be an immediate reward.

Same idea holds with writing. Embrace some level of the random. Just be curious about combining certain elements while looking for an immediate reward.

--

I got the swine flu vaccination and the influenza one. Very conflicted about such thiings. Modern medicine is so often just wrong. My sister got the swine flu vaccine and missed a couple days work she was so sick. My coworker also got pretty sick. I got it this morning at 8AM and then slept till now. It's affecting my hands. They're very slightly uncontrollably shaking. Hard to type. Almost like a neuropathy. Like a bad reaction... Oh well. I deserve Indian food today.