She walks in the large report room in the morning for a day shift: "___, I heard all you did all night was watch Tales From The Darkside!"

What response am I supposed to give? Is this supposed to be funny? Or is she accusing me of being lazy? What's funny about it? The look on my face I suppose, as I sit there baffled, annoyed and slightly fearful of how I can respond to these constant disparaging remarks. Yes, that's real funny I'm sure to her.

----

(Phone rings, I look at the caller ID. Same number that's called at least ten times tonight. They've called so many times we don't bother to introduce ourselves to each other.) I pick up and say: "1134A's in the bathroom."
"Yes, thank you."
"Thank you."

She overhears and says: "Is that how you answer the phone?" Then pantomines what I said but while sounding vaguely retarded.

Is she just being funny or should I defend myself by explaining the whole situation to this person who isn't my boss? Other than explaining what am I supposed to do? Laugh? There's nothing funny at all whatsoever. Just completely ignore her? Then am I being rude in her eyes?

----

i walk into the med room. She's in there with another nurse. With a perfectly serious look on her face she says: "I was back in Stepdown for 15 minutes and I didn't see anyone."

Then she waits expectantly for a response...

"I was in with a patient doing trach care and some other things."

Still very serious and admonishing: "____, someone needs to be back there at all times." Then looks at me with an expectant and still serious face.

"...are you trying to be funny or something?"

The other girl there looking uncomfortable finally manages a laugh and says: "JM is always trying to be funny."

The first girl smiles and says: "Trying? I am funny!" Then walks away.

----

Way back as a nurses aide this person actually took me aside for a private meeting to discuss my failings as a nurses aide. She was full of shit then. Claiming I had done things I hadn't. She was just trying to help me out she said. She was 'concerned' for me. Instead of getting annoyed with her I held my tongue and acted as if I was grateful for her kind guidance in the incredibly complex duties of wiping very sick people's asses.

Still she apparently managed to get upset based on this inappropriate private meeting she had with me. As she then bizarrely ran around talking to the air about being open with people and just getting something negative in return. Wish I remembered the exact words. Surely she was talking about me. But I was sitting right there. And I had tried to be civil with her for her private meeting. How effing bizarre. Er, what the hell am I supposed to do with such as that?

Then followed 6 months of constant jokes about how I couldn't even pull people up in bed.

---

Then two nurses years with 20 years experience apparently tried to have a 'private meeting' with her. To discuss her inappropriate behavior. Excessive flirting with doctors. Spending 50% of her time just following around some guy who worked there instead of taking care of her patients. Instead of going to the boss they attempted to talk to her. Exactly as she had earlier complained that she wished people would do with one another.

She utterly dismissed what they said and has now spent a solid year smearing them behind their back. Walking into a crowd of ten employees and going on and on about it. Basically literally making sure everyone knows how awful they are. And indeed successfully turning some people against them.

What do I do with such a person? Who is now coming to full time night shift to constantly be passive aggressive with me. She confronts me as perfectly serious as can be, constantly. Then just waits for a reaction from me. Why? She gets a kick out of me not knowing how in the hell to respond to her constant attacks. Then, usually, claims, "Oh I was just kidding." Etc. But at the same time she's clearly not joking.