Some guy I was friend with as a kid comes around about twice a year and wants to reminisce(sp) about people from back then, what's happened to them, etc. Usually he brings up people I don't even know. This last time I missed him and he left me a message to tell me that some guy I barely knew 25 years ago died.

I guess we've got so little in common it's either just don't speak at all or speak about such things. I dislike it though because it's a sort of pretending that we're a part of some community, when in fact there is no such thing these days. You get in your car and go to work and get back in your car and come home. There's not really any other people, except whomever you work with, relatives, one single person whom you have sex with, and possibly children. That's it. I never really even knew this guy from 25 years ago, in part because it was about the same back then. To sit around talking about him and acting as if I give a shit that he's dead is to pretend community still exists here in this world where it no longer does.

It annoys me for that reason. Primarily for that reason but then furthermore because I just hated my childhood in general and really don't want to reminisce about it.

This guy has tried to do this reminiscing with me for years. I've repeatedly given hints that I really don't want to hear about such and such whom I don't even remember. He keeps doing it though.

I don't want to be a mean person but, not only do I not want to hear this reminiscing, I don't really want to speak to him at all anyway. He withholds his negative thoughts. I don't consider him an actual friend anymore. Our relationship is superficial now and meaningless. I'd just as well not waste my time with such things. Along with really not wanting to put on an act and be dishonest and pretend the world is something other than what it actually is.

Yet I don't want to be rude.

So I finally just don't know how to respond. If I attempt to follow my moral laws, I'll pay, I always do. Instead I have this time finally just not responded.

Ugh. That's awful though. So, I'll go tell him that I remember the guy and really don't care that he's dead and really don't want to reminisce about anyone from 25 years ago. It was an ugly time for me and I'd appreciate it if he'd quit bringing it up.

Better maybe..., I'll say, "Chris, are you familar with the story The Lord of Flies?"

He'll say he isn't as he's never read a book in his life. (But that's the best there was where I grew up.) And I'll have to attempt to explain. Then I'll say that him always bringing up people from our youth is to me, as if he was bringing up people that we had spent time with on this island.

"Hey do you remember super asshole #237? The one who liked to torture small animals and sniff glue? Well he died."

"Don't remember him but sounds like a good thing."

"And that guy who just said nothing and went along with the pack as they beatup 'Piggy'?"

"Nope. Don't remember him at all."

"Huh? Had brownish hair? About 5'10", hung out with Mike Smith?"

"I don't even know who Mike Smith is. Sorry, no recollection whatsoever."

"Well, he got married."

"OK, good for him. So what are you up to these days, Chris?"

"....I work, eat, sleep and my wife and I are trying to have a baby. Sometimes I watch TV."

"Oh."

"So do you remember Alice Jones? I hear she's pregnant."

"Nope, don't remember her at all Chris."

...
No, best to just not bother saying anything. This person doesn't care about truth. Most people don't.