Feeling strong love for J, cats, and even springtime. At the point of loving spring a sneer comes up maybe like Kundera's hypertrophied soul. But such love is at the least extremely close to irrelevant to obtaining... whatever it is that I instead want to obtain. Immortality Kundera calls it. Not so sure it's that at all.

With 55 inch TV and good speaker system been playing Elder Scrolls: Oblivion. And have been thinking that although it's kind of nice. I'd rather spend evenings with J. To just sit in recliners on the back deck reading books beside each other with the cats and the windchime and spring would bring me far more happiness than playing a video game in the evening. And instead of trying to stay up a bit on my days off, (because I work night shift), instead of staying up to 3 or 4 AM playing this video game, I'm so much happier to go to bed, read a book a short time, spoon a bit and fall asleep with J.

To sneer at loving, really loving, spring is....... I can see it as sick, absurd, nonsensical. I can see it as all that despite having been stuck in such a frame of mind for I think a long time. I think anyway. My memory isn't close to good enough to really say. But pretty damm sure I never 'loved' spring like this.

It's other things really. Takes a lot of other things to feel such a feeling as this. And 'love' could be split into so, so, so many other things. And with that splitting people, like me, might not go decades not realizing what they're missing.

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Apples are a wonderful food. It's like magic. Money doesn't grow on trees. But food does. Apples are wood like yet sweet, edible. And one feels quite good in a subtle way. It's so gradual and so hard to put one's finger on. But it's perhaps crucial. And I have seen more than one fruitarian who acted like he was on crack, (in a extreme happy sort of way). I missed out on the wonders of fruit to a large degree for many years because I thought protein was so important. And I think that last sentence and feel stupid, but last night I mentioned to one of the endless weight watcher woman at work to try just eating apples for three days. And she immediately brought up the lack of protein. Yet the fruitarians I've known had the highest strength to body weight ratios of the people I've personally known.

Cinnamon has a subtle soothing effect.