"I don't think most people want a better society. I think somehow most people are satisfied with how life is. I'd like to write a few stories illustrating that no matter how awful conditions are, most people will convince themselves that things are about as good as they're going to get and most will find a way to be happy or at least make sure to ... Read Morekeep up a relatively convincing outward pretense.

Beyond doing this just because it means they can be slightly happy right now instead of facing a pretty daunting task (changing the world), they do this because anyone who dares say there's something really wrong with society is instead automatically perceived as having something really wrong with themselves.

And so then furthermore whatever pet cause activism some few people adopt (socialism, veganism, feminism, etc) they usually go out of their way to otherwise adopt an incredibly dishonest pretense of being otherwise 'well adjusted' and happy."

I repeat it because I forget it. I forget it and remember thinking it and wondering if it was some... illusion or whatever. I can be happy easily enough. I've got relatively decent health. A relatively decent job situation. A wonderful wife. There are things to look forward to. I can concentrate on the positive and thus... it becomes seemingly untrue. But what it is, is that they do it by concentrating on the positive. And concentrating on the positive doesn't have to be some absurd thing. (When I think the phrase in my head I picture some person with an idiotic smile ignoring things that shall soon enough bite them in the ass.)

It's a simple enough matter of trying to pop a bit of humor into the daily tasks of life. And otherwise thinking of stuff like moving into a new house, alternate scale music, reading fantasy fiction, food, etc. Simply let all the negative stuff that isn't going to change fade off into the distance.

Yes, this is common sense. If you can't change it, learn to accept it. Don't dwell upon it.

I've prefered to dwell. As virtually no one else is.

And then I'm amazed that no one else is. How can I be so different?

But that very well may be exactly why I'm dwelling. Because no one else is.

If a bunch of people already were, then very possibly I'd have gone off and found something else to think upon which no one else was thinking about.

Or not.

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Things to do:
1. Repond to emails....
2. Create bineural tracks. If I dare. Seems a bit scary.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binaural_beats
3. Write alternative tonal scale music. Started with one in 19 equal temperament. I'm doing it cluelessly.
a. I need to choose an alternative scale based on some kind of mathematical understanding which I don't yet possess. I need to write the music with a mathematical understanding of what I'm doing. I guess. But first, I need something that sounds better. Homegrown piano with scala files sounds awful. Everything pitch shifted from a single note. Ugly sound. But how much of that is just because it's an alternative scale? Pitch shifting always result in a 'tinny' sound to me. But then, so does most of the alternative scale music I've heard.

I should go listen to more.
4. I bought a hohner 26 melodica. It sounds better than the hohner 32 student. (They put 'student' in the fine print. Otherwise I wouldn't have bought it.) The 26 doesn't have the shrillness. I should try again to write reggaeish music with it.
5. Do want to something using the files RF put up. Such beautiful voices.
6. And it seems I HAVE to start with short stories as far as writing because I think the main thing stopping me is worrying any direction I choose might actually be a mistake and thus a huge waste of time.
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My sleep wasn't so good lately. Lots of night shift workers don't sleep well. Really I haven't slept as well as I'd like for most of the last few years.

But, if I attempt a one arm chinup every day, then I sleep wonderfully. 8 hours straight. And no trouble falling asleep for naps here and there, if necessary.

But it seems attempting a one arm chinup every day eventually takes a toll in other ways upon my body. I would here and there just get this feeling like my guts were giving out. And feeling too tired. And worse, it feels as if my heart has been fluttering here and there. Just for a moment. Is that related? I know that's not just in my head. Perhaps I'm getting some atrial fibrillations. Or V tach. I should maybe get it checked out.

Would (will) such exercise eventually kill me?

What a silly way that would be to die.

Perhaps 3 or 4 days then rest for 3 or 4 days. I'm curious to see how other people who have trouble sleeping would do if they tried some similar exercise. My wife actually sleeps quite bad. But she won't do it. I don't think she has enough muscle to strain with to tire herself out so much, if she did.