Still no results back from 48 hour heart monitor. Trying hard to not think about the future as doesn't look good even excluding haunting grand expectations. Today was curious again about hardware versus software in music, how much it matters. So did a cover of Metro by Berlin with software, as opposed to the old analog synths they're using which no one even makes anymore I don't think, didn't try very hard to select really good sounds. I don't know the answer though.

And that's what I do, possibly on the edge of death? At home recording a song like that? Is it not better to burn out than fade away?

It would be incredibly inconsiderate for a married person to burn out anyway. And anyway, I think my philosophy has taken me to the point of recording drunk half chipmunks when the end is nigh.

Cello is so relaxing in part because it's not just about sound. Every moment one must be so careful about their movements, so delicate, I suppose same must apply to an extent with other instruments, but so much more with cello. Such that a huge part of the enjoyment is the attentiveness to making every movement perfect at all times. Always just the right amount of pressure, always the perfect angle, if not, it will sound like crap. I end up so soothed. And the sound... I end up enjoying just playing scales, something that I definitely did not enjoy on the piano. And movement was never a concern with trumpet, which I got back out the other day also. Numb lips and saliva as I remember. And no ballet-like constant concern with movement.

Next up, try to learn Gorecki's Symphony of Sorrowful songs.



Part I really want to play is before this and not on youtube.

The cello though... so much more than playing a given note at the right time and right volume. Piano is simplistic in comparison. (except that you can play so many more notes at once). It's like picking out the one safe path through danger. Each moment so many things must be done correctly. And if done correctly, beautiful sound continues. Trance-like state almost ensues.