You can't want fame. You have to just enjoy whatever it is you're doing.

You can't want recognition. You must just do it because you enjoy it and it's a good thing to be doing.

Negative reinforcement and positive reinforcement both reduce motivation, or so I read in Irrationality by Stuart...

You have to enjoy it. You can't want to just successfully make something passable. You have to make something you enjoy making.

Can't want to reach a certain level and have your eyes focused on that. Have to enjoy right now. No willpower. Never works for long anyway. But, whether or not one could eventually go from willpower to enjoyment, it's just WRONG during the willpower stage. Perhaps if it leads eventually to immediate long term enjoyment. But, should be understood it's not the permanent stage. It's not willpower, willpower-fame. It's enjoyment, enjoyment-enjoyment.

It has to be about Right Now.

"to pierce the obscurity of the minute processes at the center of human life." At each moment. Right now. No just getting to the next point. No random pointlessness.

But of the random, the endless random which permeates all, all creativity and everything else, there can good. I say 'random pointlessness' and to avoid it, as opposed to random pointfullness and the possibility that it's somewhat worthwhile, here in this world were it may seem as if it's no longer too late, but really it was always already too late. And so the enjoyment of the sound of the cello, out of tune, wavering notes. And the randomness of the story. The endless paths, some worse than others, never the perfect path taken, always some degree of mistake as one travels the randomness. But not pointless. The simple enjoyment of the tones good and bad, parts of the story less and more worthwhile, in this world where it's always already too late. No time but for myopic simple pleasures.

Mostly though just sick of my voice, or this voice anyway, yet still want to write.