In the same way that clothes, indecency laws, monogamy, etc make people end up spending way too much time thinking about sex, I think I spend too much time thinking about online interactions. Both are mostly only interesting because of the mystery. Because of that which is hidden.

With the online, I need to do a better job of seeing how fake, unreal, meaningless all the interactions have been. So that I can completely dismiss all of them from my mind. Such dismissal is all that they deserve. There has been absolutely nothing of use learned except the ways of online interactions. Nothing though that is relevant to real life.

Spent so much time interacting online primarily because I was conducting The Search. The Search failed.

Now I'm 'happy', although the happiness can disappear if I think about why. Anyway though it's a nice dreamy sort of life.

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Planning on a big garden next year after reading Edible Estates. Book asserting that replacing grass with a garden is a radical act. I agree. A garden outside your house is:
1. A way to be outside some. In our society being outside (and not in the back yard) one almost feels like they're doing something wrong.) And I think back to 'It's 1972 and there's nothing you can do." about all those days in my neighborhood with such isolation and nothing to do and house after house, you never see anyone except to see them going from their house to car or occasionally with their big loud lawn mower running. A garden is a way to be outside thus making the possibility of actually speaking to your neighbors (provided they also had a garden...) and thus the possibility of an actual community developing. Also exchange food. Too many of one crop for your own family, etc....
2. I know someone at work who has gone years only eating the food she's produced in her garden (also raises a cow each year though...). How nice to be so self sufficient. She cans food and has a huge stock of food. That's a huge part of what it would take to turn a house into a home; having a big store of food.
And to not be so dependent on this sick society would be really nice.
3. Cheaper.
4. Just something beautiful about walking outside into your yard in order to get dinner. In multiple ways.
5. It tastes better. Green beans come to mind in particular. Also healthier for you (organic).
6. Not giving money to any massive corporations. Not buying food grown half a world away (which is kind of unethical.)
7. Less lawn mowing which along with being ridiculous and bizarre drudgery, is actually unethical. Polluting, wasting fossil fuels, etc.
Could go on but don't need to repeat the book here.

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Been sleeping like a teenager since drinking a blueberry smoothie each day (definitely planting blueberry bushes) and running/high rep weightlifting every day. Key is doing each at a 'comfortable' intensity most days thus very very little to no willpower needed.