what to write about

What to write about?
1. What makes people breakdown.
2. Demonization/suspicion/the inability to accurately assess what are and aren't actual threats.
3. Ugly thoughts that plague a person. Memory.
4. Revenge, the impossibility of it...
5. A world where everyone merely survives, how it crushes an elf.
6. Isolation.
7. A world that doesn't deserve to be saved.
8. All men not being themselves, forever afraid to appear "gay". Making sure to only do mere survival related things. To be less expressive, etc. To be stoic.
9. Afraid to try because of fear of failure.
10. Ways the selfish justify their behavior. The destruction of moral logic. Turn it into white and black. Morality becomes self interest. Morality becomes following post-industrial social norms. Etc.
11. The magical unknown. Animals, etc that don't speak. Fish rarely seen in the water. The dark. The forest full of leaves in the summer. Filling the unknown with infinity/god unconsiously.
12. The illogic of everything. Religionism and atheism. There is nothing actually that is logical. Choose your illogic.
13. The (neanderthal?) looking/searching the world for his kind. Realizing there appear to be none at all. And thus this world truly can't change. This world is actually, exactly how it should be for the people whom live in it. There's not really even a minority that wants it to change. It is hopeless.
14. That which can see more than it's own viewpoint. The androgynous person. The cat that acts like a dog. The athletic intellectual. Etc.
15. The feeling that you were destined for something which has been forever lost. (I was supposed to have been born and lived in the UK for example....)
16. Being worked to death.
17. Mistakenly assuming goodness on the part of others because one can't stand the reality. And/or Lovecraft's correlation (which is much larger, comes back to the necessity of illogic.)
18. Useful info? Useful odds and ends??? Blueberry smoothies help cure insomnia..???
19. Lord of the Flies. The essential nature of mankind...? Killing machines. Only altruistic to the extent small groups can then better kill others...
20. Mass culture being dumbed down. The more connected, the more of a monopoly, the more stupid the art.
21. Idiocracy. Evolving into stupidity. And/or the evolutionary edge. Too much intelligence makes one less likely to successfully reproduce. (Neanderthals were large/muscular, had red hair, larger brain capacities and did cross breed a little before going extinct... Wife says I am one.) Slavery probably should not be mentioned here. But serfdom/brutal capitalism...?
22. Misremembering the past. Panglossing it. Or at least thankfully forgetting it so that you can stand to repeat the same negatives over and over.
23. Panglossing reality. Learning to love capitalism. Or slavery. Or monarchism, etc.
24. The mindlessness/laziness of absolute morality as opposed to utilitarianism.
25. Being too busy barely surviving one's self to show consideration for others.
26. The closeminded. Removing whoever disagrees with you from your life. Post-industrial living. Instead of resolving differences just keep discarding to you find someone who is exactly the same as you. Until a couple years later when you've both changed and are no longer identical. At which point you then discard them and find some new person you're now identical to.
27. Weird ideas about bugs. Their surrealism.
28. Not having a clue about one's own sub/unconscious. Not even understanding what you yourself actually think. The atheist not realizing he's full of mystical thinking which is essential to him/her.
29. The power struggle of relationships. If one person perceives they are superior and the other feels inferior, the one is at ease and the other isn't. If they manage to feel relatively equal, then maybe no problem. If they don't feel equal, the relationship can't work. Either way. If even one feels inferior or superior, the relationship will be an ugly thing.
30. Controlling people through fear and the negative result.
31. The process of laughing
32. The process of falling asleep
33. The connection between falling asleep and laughing
34. psuedo democracy when billionaires own all the radio and TV combined with social isolation.
35. Planned obscelence(sp)
36. Making being off the grid illegal
37. Hard manual labor to stay sane
38. Simplicity is escapist. Simple characters are usually the heart of fantasy fiction.
39. Boredom is the result of a classification system. Dumb people don't get bored. But perhaps people with crude classification systems get bored more easily? Through classifying we don't live in the moment as much.
40. The genesis of mythical creatures
41. The disregarding of the unknown. Not treating it with reverence. Not caring about it. Like the men in the castle who burn the contents of each next room without having any idea what they might by destroying. No interest in learning.
42. Dislike of the assimilated weak. You make dystopia possible. TV show What Would You Do is all about indifference thanks primarily to fear.
43. How sick being close with only a single person is.
44. Prole evolution. Mere survival evolution
45. The heart of racism: being bad at accurately assessing threats. One errs towards suspicion.
46. Giving up on the grand party. Realizing there's nothing out there at all. Ending The Search. All is within or nowhere.
47. The degree of relevance of your dreams correlates to your happiness/mental 'health'.
48. The unknown is magic. Cats not speaking even.
49. In the real world, first time meetings are always very very boring. Must almost always not be realistic in fiction concerning this.
50. Piercing the obscurity of the minute processes of human life
51. escapism versus realism and the lie which brings us closer to the truth...
52. common enemy brings people together
53. Always slightly random but never pointless. (Art)
54. Subconsciously feeling like god is against you. (even as an proclaimed atheist)
55. ...with dying all stress can go away. No longer have to worry so much about the stuff of this world. Don't have to worry about how I'm spending my life. Because it's about done, too late now anyway.
But now, it's no longer too late. And this was a poorly spent day.
56. The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents." Lovecraft
57. Can't be bothered to find the paper I wrote on... But when this life is no longer the grand stage, when this life is not The Place and instead just some time killed at the airport, when this life isn't The Life. When there really isn't any Grand Party that is being missed, when nothing Really Matters.... then death isn't so particularly bad. And then one is more able to enjoy time spent enjoying simple things. And one doesn't have such a Hypertrophied Soul...
58. The necessity of myopia for sanity/happiness.
59. Appearing intelligent (elegance) and purposely being incomprehensible in the university setting.
60. ...There is no point in trying to revenge oneself. "Everything will be forgotten. There will never be any redress for anything."
61. Whenever Ludvík finds himself in a group of people, he always wonders how many of them would be willing to send their fellow mortals to death, only because the collective has demanded this....
62. ...Kitsch is a beautiful lie, which hides all the negative aspects of life and deliberately ignores the existence of death....
63. The immorality of happiness in dystopia
64. The necessity of the word 'love' being so vague.
65. Memory, not endlessly repeating the same negative actions thanks to it. But being stuck endlessly remembering past negative actions thanks to it....
66. One reason to be closeminded: "You're nothing but a superficial shell. A husk of foozy(?) consciousness ready to be torn off at a moment's notice."
67. "hypertrophied souls" The need to do something special. Unable to lie back in the grass and happily watch the clouds go by.
68. Modern isolated society
69. "socialists" whom ensure capitalism by all their social norms. Going on about this or that issue yet isolationist, rugged individuals at heart, etc.
70. The key to happiness is significant, meaningful, lasting relationships.
71. Capitalsm Laws:
a. The majority always working just about as much as they can stand.
b. Middle Management(the overseers) can't be very smart. (Usually).
c. Short of technological innovation taking people "off the grid" it's highly unlikely to really bring people any more happiness. (Excepting some medical innovations.)
d. It's a system where the losers starve. It's fear based.
73. To speak the truth when it will do no good? (utilitarism vs. the deontological brave (lazy and self centered) martyr)
74. Demonization
75. Fake smiles-not a threat,considerate enough to keep it light and fluffy,
76. Humans as marionette's, every action just an act, social norms actor, everything is a lie. Your entire existence.
77. Light and fluffy/fake smile evolution taken to the concentration camp.
78. Creating malevolent god for whom you survive just to spite. (My god, such dark thoughts...)
79. To be an angel amoungst demons. Analogy to demonstrate the absurdity.
80. Analogies in general to show the absurdity of capitalism, meat-eating, etc.
81. No amount of philosophy can replace human interactions....?
82. How awful it is to remember how awful the past was. Please misremember and pangloss it and have some nostalgia for a life that never was....
83. slow suicide through junk food, etc.
84. Subconsciously hoping for death.
85. chop chop, tick tock (pain, boredom) (fear, nihilism)
86. The strange sickness of music performed for a massive audience. All those people just standing around or "dancing" as they sometimes call it.
87. Does that which doesn't kill us make us stronger?
88. Cutting off the meaningless, the lies, such that there's nothing left but to sit at home alone.
89. Panglossianism
90. all novels are decadent. Short stories padded.
91. The real escape of escapist fiction is to simplistic 2D people.
92. exaggerated dystopia where people never speak to one another face to face
This takes me to Feb 14th, 2010. God what hell this is.