Feel a bit out of sorts lately... Something's changed. Some thing... Not sure what...

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I finally met a really creative musical person in my area. His music... perhaps is better than mine. Or just refreshingly different what with lots of fake guitars and such... He had jumped out a window because his computer was talking to him and things... He was very scared about these voices talking to him and asked if he could please be put in a mental hospital.

He has a big website with his own discussion board. It was... what's the word... something beyond depressing to read it. Scary, stark, dark, sad. It got me to the point of actually smelling something... Which is that a very very low grade more traditional synethesia? I did it more when younger. Usually while watching/reading horror stories I'd start smelling things. Like a vague corspy smell I imagined while watching HellRaiser. Actually smelled something looking at his site, reading his old posts, knowing where he is now.

Possibly it's related to my photic sneezing but it seems less likely.

Hope the guy will be OK of course.

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Otherwise it's really been a good time lately. Perhaps just the whole no longer having any free time plus barely seeing my wife is getting me down.

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Lots of lost thoughts. Some others saved on my crappy laptop. Sleeping like shaving cream. Stuff about reconstructing memories. How imperfect memory is a key to consciousness. Constant attempting to rebuild, needing to self reference continously to continously try to rebuild just in order to even try to rebuild some other things, etc infinitely in order to try to predict the future, etc. To decide the best action, etc. With perfect memory there's no need to continously self reference. There's no need to build. It never fell apart. It's just there. You reference it once and that's it... It's in the constant and imperfect rebuilding that we become human... Or not. Just something to think of later.