I'm in an intensive 2 year nursing program. And as a part of it we have this internet system where right now we have to communicate online with one another. Normally we just do things face to face. The online communication brings back to me how quickly communication can break down and people can jump to assuming the worse of one another. Here I had a small issue with someone not turning their work into me in time, and me having to wait on them, etc. It's someone that in the flesh seems nice enough. No problem. A civilized person not looking to jump to thinking nasty things about people. I suppose looks can be deceiving... But, anyway just dealing with this person online then, instead of in person... really adds all kinds of negatives. Perhaps it's just me. But in the absense of adequate info I do then take into consideration potential negatives that in normal interactions almost always can be put aside...

And so I need to ease way up on the internet discussion boards. I go to them because I'm somewhate eccentric and lonely where I live. I have 22 saved under favorites. They're mostly negative one way or another. Horrible cliques of imps attacking one another, vapid useless chat, or just mostly dead/dying.

Participated in the most ridiculous internet discussion board thread I've ever taken part in, in like 10 years of these awful things. A guy started a thread that contained pictures of him with a type of insect inside his house, talking about one hiding out in his beard, etc, like they're his pets. He wasn't very clear... mentioned something about equality of species or something... But the type of insect it was... appears lays it eggs inside other animals. According to wiki it supposedly does this even with humans. So... I tried to be nice and point this out, while also saying equality of the species and all was great, I'm an vegan myself.

...The guy responds by attacking me. Saying I'm trying to put him down. Reduce him to a larval host. And he goes on to mention he communicates telepathically with these insects.

...OK. So this guy's crazy. It happens. What starts getting more bizarre... is someone else comes after me. They say "that insect doesn't do that". They insinuate I've edited wikipedia to say such a thing, etc.

At this point how does one not at least feel frustration? I understand that this second person is used to discussion boards; probably has many years of 'forumwarz' under his belt. (forumwarz.com) Such disgusting attacks are just the norm for him.... I guess. :( I'm not actually frustrated with him. (And understand here, frustration is a form of anger, I don't believe in it.)

I'm frustrated (angry) at "god".

The positive is believing in a god I suppose. But... who says god is smart? He can be stupid too. Thus, he's not evil. Thus there's still no evil to believe in...

But there's a default... if I make him stupid... then I jump to frustration with whoever it was that created such a stupid god. The turtle on the turtle's back.

I'm still angry at god about this. Brings to mind Sergeant Lounatic in the Bucket of Truth episode of Upright Citizens Brigade. Not on youtube unfortunately. Season three still not released for sale despite cult popularity. Great show.

Was like a demon last night so angry. Still am. So frustrated with you God.

And it's so ridiculous. Me being angry at god. I've heard people say such things in the past and thought it ridiculous. I think at times I was doing the same unknowingly even while thinking other's were ridiculous for it.

But with other's its about how their loved one has been killed and so on. I haven't experienced that and can't say much. Even imagining something happening to my wife is so horrible to me. But still I just can't imagine being angry at god over it... I don't know. But I do get angry over the little things which add up and up, I get frustrated. What a world you made you evil person you.

Eh, I'll get over it. Or not. Horrible mood last night. Slightly better now.