Made quickly. Could easily be made a lot better. Can you imagine a world where it would matter? My imagination is failing me on such matters. Still I like it quite a bit.

I built a bunch of bookshelves that are attached to the wall. Something like 140 feet of shelf space. Maybe barely enough for my books. But then I didn't quite finish putting all my books on them. Why? Not quite sure entirely but it may have something to do with feeling like I won't be living here long. Then also night shift has me not spending much time in the room (would bother sleeping wife). This all ties into feeling though like the space I live in, that it just doesn't matter much to make it nice. In this world it just doesn't matter. Work is way too much chop chop savagery. Not to mention even without the chop chop something essential is missing... Such that nice spaces don't matter.

Writing a beautiful piece of music doesn't matter.

Recently I was thinking that 'good music should not be written in this world'; instead music that sounds like it can hardly bother. Music with blatant mistakes. Music that doesn't have any polish in it's production or original composition. For that matter, if you can overhear someone flushing the commode in the background, etc, that's a good idea too.

Where would it matter?

Where having beautiful spaces mattered.

Where for that matter, living or dying actually mattered.

What would such a world look like?

There is a lady at work who seems pretty wonderful. My wife met her at a party with 10 or so people. Upon leaving (I had never mentioned her at all) she immediately mentioned what a wonderful person she seemed to be. So we both independently came to this conclusion.

She sort of looks like me. Large head. Reddish hair. Angular face. Large nose. She's the one who suggested the book club at work. The book club it's looking like may actually have an inagural meeting. From at least 50 people at work a grand total of me, her and two other people just might show up. There's nothing to understanding why I like her. Not like my weird attraction to S. With K it's perfectly obvious and nothing to go on about.

A world of such people as those by the way. Where one simply gave up on the rest. Where one made sure to spend absolute minimal time associating with those other kind of people.

Well, in such a world as that, I suspect it might matter a bit. Simply by gathering together people who existed more. (I think therefore I am. The more I think, the more I am.)

It's not such a horribly complex idea. I'm around such people and I immediately feel so much better. As if someone put my shoulder back in it's socket. As if sensory deprivation has suddenly ended. The world is just so much more when around such people. K in particular, at least it seems.

It's startling. No amount of philosophy seems to me anything at all for human happiness compared to simply being around the right sort of people. But there are so incredibly few.

...Fredrik Douglas barely survived slavery. Rather than take another whipping he attacked a white man. I think most such people were killed. His circumstances were just exceptional. I strongly feel that being an intelligent man didn't make it easier for Douglas to survive his brutal existence. I think it made it much harder. I strongly think that most such men as him, were removed from the gene pool. I know it's highly verbotten to mention but the evidence of the result is there.

That evidence would not be worth mentioning except that the same thing is still going on around us. There is something very awful to learn from slavery which no one is allowed to admit.

"Darkness has descended upon mankind."