"smack!"

"What was that?" asks Jo.

"Nothing." I reply.

"No, I want to know what that was. You can't just go around violently smacking your fist into your hand and then refuse to tell me why."

"(sigh) OK if you must know so bad that was me way back in Los Alamos on my last day, in the meeting with those three demons. That was me forever changing ... ........'s world as I made my way to the door for the privacy necessary to beat the three of them to a bloodly pulp. It still occasionally just pops into my head now and then...."

"Yes, and then you'd still be in jail right now. And/or have a criminal record...."

"Milan Kundera in his book The Joke had his life similarly destroyed and for decades he plotted revenge just to find that the person/s didn't even remember what they had done. He said the only real revenge would have been if he had immediately jumped up over the desk and punched the guy in the face."

"...of course if I had done so... I would indeed still be in jail today. I'm too big. Too much larger and athletic to be doing that sort of thing, as if there's any size small enough to make it ok. ("haha")"

"...it just pops into my head now and then. No philosophy it seems will change that."

"...what else?"

"A giant scythe cutting people in two. Then slowly singing through the air. The POV is at the end of the handle looking out at the blade. Trees, grass, twilight flies by as the scythe forever sings."

I fear to speak of such things publicly lest the perpetrators are indeed someday murdered by some other person they've wronged. I could end up a suspect as a result. Yet Kundera wrote a somewhat popular book about the same subject.