Two interesting things said by the guy who wrote the biography on Rod Serling (Joel Engel). Something about not having the confidence to put a lot of time into any one script. Despite all his success Serling would forever fly through things and just end up with tons of somewhat shoddy quantity. And Serling, for all his success, really was not confident at all.

Secondly, something about liking to destroy more than create. Not remembering it quite right but it struck me in that much like little boys like to break things, I personally certainly find it much easier to criticize the existing world, etc than to come up with alternatives.... It just seems to me, in view of say the typical woman, enjoying what good the world has to offer, I'm in comparison a little like a typical boy melting slugs.

Thirdly, an old army buddy sent a letter to Serling praising his Twilight Zone work, saying how much he loved it, etc and signed the letter: Love, ....
Serling misunderstood and thought the guy was coming on to him. Serling hated "fags" and replied that he was sick and needed to see a psychiatrist, lol.

Serling so focused on being macho. And so worried about being short. Absurdity.

...wife trying to get me to watch videos some guy does of his cats. I find myself thinking quite negatively of the guy. Making a bunch of videos of your cats is just a little too "gay" for me....

I feel annoyed because there's such potential for happiness that we shut ourselves off from. This fellow with his cats. Totally unworried about appearing ridiculous and/or "gay". What if we were all like him? Completely unworried about fitting the role we think society says we must fill?

At work I give a recorded report for the next nurse. I hear my voice and think I need to use a lower pitch to sound more stereotypically manly. I certainly can use a slightly lower pitch. The one male unit clerk will often record the patient's names and he uses the proper stereotypical manly voice with slightly affected lower pitch to his voice. I certainly can do the same. I can go much lower. Or higher. I experimented with doing so for awhile pretending I was practicing to be a radio announcer, lol.

But with a slight feeling of absurdity, because such a thing is an affectation, a filling of this... neanderthalic societal role. (Also in that a lower pitch has threatening connotations and I want to be completely unthreatening.) Like Serling was locked into. So I'm less locked into it. And I suspect others frown upon me for being less locked into it.

Yet still, I am also stuck into parts of it still. And probably always will be.

To the extent I've broken out of playing the absurd typical role, I look at others and laugh/feel depressed at what others are sadly locked into. And they in turn I'm sure look at me and probably feel distaste such as I feel for the guy making videos of his cats..??