http://thetoofarfuture.blogspot.com/2008/11/not-right-scene.html
Not so much vitality/virility although that plays a role. It was about being able to see beauty in ..just about anything. And understanding how relative it is. For a fat women you think about flesh in general. With women it's softer so with a really fat women: wonderful endless soft flesh! Why you can just about disappear into it! The ultimate orgy of the flesh for Paxton!

One can look at a female ape... and if you weren't aware what the males looked like you'd think it male. But once you've seen the males, suddenly it's properly feminine, (if the relative you keep in mind is solely the male ape) The gentle sex. Gentle and snuggly and... that's enough. The point was just being able to see beauty anywhere and as result understanding how relative it is really. Personally I have tried to reject the usual understanding of beauty, where it's relative to all other members of the species and just taking the average. The most perfectly boringly normal. I don't like that version of beauty... But beauty is about being relative to something. Better than some other thing... the most general idea is less likely to be mutated/defective, thus normal beauty is the most perfectly regular features. (Yes, it comes right back to evolution/successfullly spreading one's genes.) I think of some royal family in europe long ago where they were so inbred their elongated jaws quit working properly and they had trouble eating... Saw a picture of one of them. Probably of course the most flattering possible picture. I thought her so beautiful. To me a long jaw is beautiful. Elongated faces, almost like Easter Island statues. In Australia it seems there's something going where a few people have these freakishly long faces. At least I've seen them in movies a few times and it was always Astralians. Was fascinated by it. I have it slightly. Not freakishly.

But being able to see every person as beautiful is a nice thing. And I can just about do it. Almost. But I quit bothering with it quite a while back, for the most part...

Attached somewhat to a larger idea of being alone in a room and staring at a wall for years and being perfectly happy. Bizarre idea of mine when younger. "I'm turning myself into steel to be invincible!" (Silly Fist of the North Star anime line.) That was the idea, to be invincibly happy.

But I rejected so much of my thoughts from back then. Regarded it all as... invalid as it was not based on the thinking of a person that remotely was the common man. Which now at least, in a sense, I'm the common man. Except with the remains of that having pushed me in something of an unusual direction.

I thought of it as being similar to stoics. And also associated with Vancian characters who even while being tortured kept a relatively even keel.