During times of change I always have tons of dreams or at least remember my dreams. It is nice to believe they have meaning and I suppose in ways I can discern some meaning. One very noticeable thing that has changed about my dreams from 20 years ago is that back then there was virtually no sense at all to anything I dreamed. There was my body falling apart, pieces falling off, various nightmarish things. Me running off across the landscape trying to escape. I suppose that all made sense but everything else was just totally random.

So in a time of change lately with switching to night shift, working as a nurse, having I suppose less stress, and... I suppose more time off? (although it's not feeling like that at all.... although I will have two 5 day off bits in the next three weeks which is awesome.) Reading a ton of books, including escapist ones like I haven't in years. (Just bought 12 books yesterday.) Also sleeping freakishly hard. Whereas for the last few years I was starting to sleep like an old person. Too light. Waking up after 3 or 4 hours. Then managing to fall back asleep for another hour or three...

Anyway something's very different. Usually in the past it was moving, which I did a lot of, or starting a new job, those two things caused endless dreaming.

I generally don't keep track of the dreams/don't try to remember them. In part perhaps because when younger they were such just chaos, always just that. Last night and recently in general they've been very sensible dreams. Not such random things thrown together. Instead things that actually make sense but I could have as well thought while awake. Almost anyway. Still a few odds and ends put in that don't actually correlate to real life. And there's this sort of rationalism at work as if I'm awake. A part of me is pulling back and looking down and musing about the situation just as if awake, but not so aware it's a dream.

Every night endless dreams. For a change a very partial listing:

The one which has already very much faded from my memory I think may have had some relation to the movie we saw yesterday, District 9. It was an unusual sort of movie and I guess OK in that respect. In the dream there was running and hiding but in a strange area, buildings where I had found secret doors, secret places. And then secret documents. I think I was being chased by Los Alamos henchmen. A very long dream which I can't explain. Consisted of secret places to hide.

Then an almost homoerotic dream. I've had a very few homoerotic dreams in my life. I recall having one in my teens where I was kissing some other guy and liking it. I woke up wondering if it meant I was gay and have remembered that bit of dream for 20+ years. In this one I was at first back in high school or back at high school for some unknown reason where I met this one guy who was gay. He had very effiminate mannerisms. In high school he was suicidal. He was also very beautiful. His eyes and the hue of his skin reminded me of a fawn.

Although I'm not gay, my heart reached out to him, what with being suicidally depressed. And he looked so sensitive. The few times I tried to strike up a conversation he was very hostile back then. In the dream I managed to break through. Found he wrote music that sounded better than mine. Better singer, more 'professional'. And he only posted it on myspace. Because the only people who listen to music anywhere else are actual musicians.

In the dream though I did go ahead and make out a bit with him, just to be nice.

He needed hugs and that sort of thing.

Finally or maybe mingled? I dreamed we (my wife and I) discovered two additional rooms in our current house. The kitchen is in the corner, we found a door that was a hallway with two additional decent sized rooms coming off of it.

In real life the house is quite old and 980 square feet. Which is to say too small for my library. In fact I think I just bought three books yesterday I already own but are in storage. But this house has a downstairs which is trashed and not used. (below ground level.) Long ago water pipes busted and rotted out the floor. Fourty years ago it used to be a barber shop. The couple across the street remember back when it was. There used to be stairs down to it on the inside before the house was converted into two apartments.

Thinking still about buying a house. This current house was free. It was abandoned. Wondering if we should just fix this one up. Fix up the downstairs. Perhaps put an addition on the backside. Put up a fence around the yard. Instead of spending 200,000 on a new house that just wouldn't be 200,000 dollars better.

As always there was a piece of music attached to my dreams. At least there was one that I remembered, probably others forgotten. There is far more music than dreams. as when falling asleep, during that moment where my thinking quits making sense a bit of original music plays. I don't bother trying to take these bits and recording songs. For a change I was going to do so this time but now I've forgotten it. It wasn't anything really special though. The hard part is it's never clear what instrument is making the sounds. So I could never get it to sound quite the same.