D vs S

I guess it comes back to the main reason for nervousness. Concentrating on yourself instead of finding the other interesting. Problem is usually that the other just isn't very interesting. In this case... that might be playing a role. But definitely I'm feeling like showing interest might greatly increase the chance that D will make a serious pass.

And I can't stand it when others constantly make such negative assumptions like that but here I find it very difficult to not do the same. I'm going to try to not do so... in the future. That is all. Can't stand the dishonesty otherwise stuck with. Drives me nuts. She has only voiced the sort of thing that people think all the time and don't say. (Well, they don't all think I'm "hot", definitely not. But think that in general of one another and don't say it.) Horrible of me to have this concealment in me. Horrible and unusual. Really I generally have nothing really worth concealing from virtually everyone. How pitiful then that exactly when someone is partially breaking free of the typical ugly social norms I revert to the sort of stuff myself that I'm always so critical of in others. How perfect.

Can't find old David Byrne youtube clip where he was on Letterman when young. His nervousness was just so clear and seemingly extreme. But then in general he looks like he's nervous even when he probably isn't.

Some quote by Schopenhauer, awfully elitist sounding about how for one so intelligent the best conversations are had with one's self.

Intelligent people are more nervous. Is it because of this (others just aren't very interesting)? Or just because they're doing a much better job at seeing potential dangers..? My stepfather and I see a toddler who is very outgoing and talkative with strangers and agree it's not a sign of intelligence to have so little shyness with unknown grownups. Not to mention early blooming in kids is just as potentially a bad thing as good as humans are the slowest maturing species and the smartest.