"I thought of it as being similar to stoics. And also associated with Vancian characters who even while being tortured kept a relatively even keel."

Vance had one story where 5 men were put through a mind simulation, put through a number of situations to determine who would be the next ruler of the galaxy. The simulation only lasted an afternoon but seemed to take months at least in their minds. The final scenario was being tortured to get wartime information. As it ended the men came to and one man was left a gibbering fool, huddled in a corner trying to eat a leaf he had found. But one man was like a stone, even being tortured for months had had no effect on him. His scoring was seemingly perfect. He had handled every situation like Spock I suppose would have.

To his chagrin the "deciders" chose the man who had been reduced to insanity by the torture (they could fix him back up to sanity) to be the next ruler.

I don't think that Vance explained it so well. Will look it up. But the point is easily understood. To be able to withstand such torture is a sort of freakish insanity in it's own right. And to be such a man, a man who lives every moment like neverending war, is lacking in wisdom. He just might not take the galaxy in the best direction despite having good morals, etc.

To always be waiting for that death blow is no way to live. But it seems to ever be caught unexpected...

It is a sort of losing to always be waiting for it. The infinite strike that reverberates in your mind for your entire life.

Ultimately it's a game and to some extent we choose the games we wish to play. Some of us are more creative than others. But why did I choose such a game really?

One can cry or one can get angry or one can be like Spock, untouched by anything. Like steel, like stone. I thought to cry meant you lose the game. Getting angry also means losing the game. But being like a robot, always waiting to be surprised also means losing the game.

We laugh at what is unexpectedly wrong. Not bothering to expect the death blow, thus finding everything unexpected would mean laughing a lot. This too is a form of insanity. Much more clearly than being a stoic. Really anything out of the norm is "insane"; a pointless tiresome word.

Laughing more often is simply not doing as good of a job at expecting things to go wrong.

Do too good a job and you're a stoic. Too bad and you're an idiot. It is good to reject the norm in this world. Even if the norm is actually right. It's still good for a few people to go in different directions. Being different just for the sake of being different in and of itself is basically a good thing in this world.