meaningless interactions

I do my best thinking in the shower. Why is that? I recall Carl Sagan saying something similar.

Was going to write up a friend contract. Just to think more about it. But it mostly amounts to being able to disagree with each other and still see some reason to bother keeping in contact. As opposed to some level of a fake relationship.

The reality for people is that they generally conceal differences and act in ways which are partially dishonest with new people. If it's someone they look at as a potential long term sexual mate then they'll usually try to slowly let the truth peek through. And then, how it works is that if one person lets the truth peek through and the other person finds that they disagree, they often keep the disagreement to themselves and dump them for no known reason. Occasionally they'll both recognize disagreements and both just not define what they are and mutally dump each other. More often one person will move forward and try to actually be real and the other will respond by dumping them with no explanation instead of even talking about what they disagree with.

Of course I don't just mean say, talking about political disagreements. I mean anything. Farting even. Levels of cleanliness. Seeming narcissitic. Too concerned with the superficial. Too 'serious'. Etc. Anything.

The ugly assumption is that whatever disagreement that is concealed ought to be concealed because no good will come of airing it out. Occasionally this may actually be true. (Well ideally it is literally never ever true.) More often it just makes the assumption that all people are closeminded and unchanging. Perhaps it's mostly projection in this way. But also people so often respond to disagreements with violence, force, and anger and thus it is no wonder then that women especially will often hide their disagreement and just drop someone with no explanation at all.

But so, if it's someone you're looking to have sex with for the long term you slowly reveal your true self, slowly reveal stuff the person could actually disagree with. If it turns out you're very similar in some ways then you have sex, etc. And then perhaps, thanks to sex mainly, you've got enough holding you together that you might dare to actually disagree with the person about some things.

If there's no sex, if it isn't a person that you're looking for that with over the long term, then just never bother to reveal any disagreements. Just keep whatever pointless relationship you have with the person pretty much meaningless.

And this, does tie into the unspoken insane social norms of our corporate society. It also perhaps just ties into what ugly violent closeminded creatures we generally are.

And so, you get to potentially be close with your mate. Maybe your parents and children. Maybe a few relatives. Otherwise...? Women may find a few other very similar women to confide in. Gay men maybe the same. Non gay men... whatever for? Keep it light and meaninglesss. Talk about your car or motorcycle.

And the reality is then that for a pretty sizable portion of people, not counting parents and children, they get to be meaningful with one single other human being. One person to supply their everything.

And everything else is mostly shlock.