openminded and tortured

http://thetoofarfuture.blogspot.com/2009/04/halfway-through-free-to-be-human-now.html

You want to know what it is to be truly openminded?

Kafka's The Trial. A book he died without finishing and asked to have burned.

You constantly persecute yourself. Your mind is never totally at ease.

'The Good' are good exactly because they are constantly afflicting themselves, constant reproaches, constantly in doubt of the righteousness of their actions.

While 'The Evil' rest easy and unconcerned. The more evil they are the better they feel. The tormented amongst them are few and far between. They are the ones that manage to somehow become more intelligent late in life. And thus realize the horrible things they've been up to. But how does this happen?

As long as things stay good for them they can keep their mind closed and never need to take a closer look at their actions. Only if things really go to hell is there a chance they might feel the need to take the extraordinary step of opening back up their mind. And then they become a born again christian most likely; adopt that set of dogmas and promptly slam the door back closed.

But most have no such issues as their 'evil' is just following the unspoken insane corporate social norms that genuinely do help one get along better in this life. If you've never had an imagination you never notice you feel slighly empty. Only those who grew up in love with fantasy books find themselves feeling dead and searching for something more later. An extramarital affair, prozac, etc.

This is not well written. Muddled. In that the last paragraph suddenly adds an increased complexity that the previous don't address.