Lost post...

Wanting to be famous is in part a ridiculous modern manifestation of wanting to be the tribal alpha male.

In prepubescence imagination was such a more pleasant peaceful thing.

Hit puberty and those fame dreams were overpowering. Eventually such dreams end. Either in that it's a little bit too clear that there's no chance they'll happen, or the biological drives... hormones that caused them starts easing up, or in that you manage to eventually wrestle back some control of yourself as a halfway coherent human being. And thus all hope is lost.

Then it's possible to return to a better time. But your mind is kind of tainted.