Angel Syndrome

As to the last post, first off, it's no big deal. That's how it is all over for everyone. Slightly more important for me to keep such things in mind because of who I am and what job I happen to be doing. (Being a scientifically minded man who does come across as really intelligent working in a field with mostly women of average intelligence.) (And as ridiculous as it is I probably should mention that I'm tall and in good shape too. As that really is held against people too, absurd as it seems. I could maybe try to hunch over a bit???) Secondly, as to responding the correct way in such situations, I mostly do. I'd already have been fired otherwise no matter how perfectly I did my job and how nice I was. I've put on an act perfectly on a number of occasions to let people feel they had sufficienty put me down a rung or two on the ladder.

My thing is that maybe I don't do it always quite well enough. And also, that I get sick and tired of it. I understand too well, logically speaking, what is going on; that it's monkey stuff, literally. In fact, I just found a book tonight for a dollar which goes on about exactly that; how the workplace environment is so similar to how monkeys behave in the wild. (It then furthermore goes on about how to the succeed is the workplace with keeping such things in mind.)

I think most people who do well in these environments, are 'getting it' on an unconscious level. Both how to avoid getting attacked and also how to 'attack' like the two smearers whom actually are trying to be nice people for the most part. They're just slaves to their unconscious' like all of us to an extent. Really, they're not trying to destroy lives. It's just how they're hard wired. They want to be good.

Anyway, though, this maybe not doing it as well enough at times on my part, one could self persecute themselves and think they, say, have aspergers for example. I'm thinking of something I think original instead: angel syndrome.

Where basically everything outside of the norm which causes someone to not get along in the world as well is labeled a mental disease/syndrome, thus simply being too good of a person we can go ahead and say that in and of itself means there's something wrong with you.

So, the person with angel syndrome can't understand that people really don't want to be egalitarian at all. They want you to very clearly bow down to their authority and never even appear to do otherwise. The angel doesn't understand this not because they're unable to understand human emotions very well, they don't get it because they're too good for this world and just don't understand this ugliness that is in most people.

Like Aldous Huxley's brother who committed suicide, "(they're) too good for this world."

And so they (I) don't understand jealousy for example. Or other things. The general level of indifference. Etc.

And as opposed to being "fixated" on things that happened long ago because I've got OCD, or aspergers, etc, etc, it is actually quite truly that I at least, and I don't speak for others, just have an extremely strong sense of right and wrong. And feel a ton of moral outrage, just amazement still over the things people did to me when I was just a kid. How could adults treat kids like that? Such things I still think about in amazement, etc. Although I've never mentioned such here.

So then, to see people (and I know more than one such person) who are unhappy and seem so so good and seem to be consumed just with moral outrage, persecuting themselves; thinking that there must be something wrong with them, really bothers me.

I would instead call it angel syndrome. Which of course isn't to say that aspergers, etc doesn't exist, etc.