An issue with art is knowing that if while making it or beginning to make it you think about how no one is ever going to listen to it, if you think you're doing the equivalent of rolling a boulder up a hill where it will just immediately be let loose to roll back down, it makes it harder to bother doing so. But making exactly that analogy provides the answer. You can do it like Camus' atheist who just doesn't think about that relatively important fact that no one's going to listen to it and instead concentrates on rolling it well. Or you can pretend that it's not just going to roll back down, that other people are going to appreciate it, a sufficient number to not make it a waste of time. But what exactly to pretend? Shall you pretend you're the next Kafka or Hemingway and eventually hundreds of books and articles will be written about you? Or shall you try to return life to a preindustrial age before mass production; where the numbers aren't quite so gaudy/obscene. Perhaps the difference doesn't matter too much.
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So sick of how people talk about one another behind their backs.
Like this article about Samuel Beckett; the writter of the article is annoyed that their doesn't seem to be gossip in Beckett's voluminous letters. He doesn't talk about the women he's with except to say he likes her. The article writer apparently wants an assessment. But what is that? Even if he's saying just good things... to go on about someone behind their back... I guess if it's exactly things you have said to their face. Otherwise it's an ugliness. And it's rampant in this world.

Making me want to be a hermit. Hard to find people who don't take part in it. I myself could do a little better still I guess. Although I do pretty well.

Last night wife and I went out to dinner with S from work and two or her friends. Afterwards of course as we're driving home we talk a little about S. Which again, heh, I hate that. Even though I only said good things. Solely good things. I think pretty highly of her. And... what if I thought bad things? Would I just shut my trap and keep them to myself?

The good doesn't matter much when the bad is just censored. (Like the clear empty fakeness of facebook.) The ideal is that all assessments would be things you'd have no problem saying to the person's face thus it's not like you're hiding anything when talking about them behind their back...

And thus, my favorite people are those who will at least just throw out negative stuff in front of everyone. Many such people come to mind... Take S for example who probably hurts herself at work by just telling people what she really thinks. Being like that will catch up to her most likely, over and over again. Many others...

There is the question are they making a moral choice to be real instead of fake? Seeking truth? Or, are they just too dumb to assimilate to the social norm? I hope it's the former. But still, even if it isn't, I still prefer such people. People who will scream and yell and carry on at times.



...the problem with spending a long time on a song, story, etc is that you get sick of it eventually. And by the time you're done, you've ruined it for yourself, just thanks to the amount of time you've spent with it.

So then the ways around this are:
1. Have multiple people working on it? So it can get two, three, four times as much work without anyone person getting so sick of it...
2. Get better. So that you can make something great much faster.
3. Try at least to think of yourself as the legendary artist and that millions will listen to this song, read this story, etc for decades... centuries and thus you must spend a long time working on it.
4. Don't spend a long time on most things. Just do it to the extent you can amuse yourself.