Note to self: showing concern for most people is not considered a nice, friendly, compassionate and decent thing. It's considered an attempt to lord over them that they're inferior to you. That they're unhappy while you in turn are so happy that you have leftover energy to care about them, thus you're the winner and they're the loser. You're right and they're wrong.
And so you're the only one who shows compassion, and it's taken as an insult. Like if you found a lame racoon and tried to help it and it responds by hissing at you and trying to bite you.
And so almost all of us are locked into some stupid alpha male battle. Including those of us who couldn't possibly care less about such stupidity.
And when some do seem to maybe perhaps be responding to your compassion with decency? Is it actually just this? Giving the thumbs up while secretly thinking of you as 'the fucker in the cowboy hat'?
So today the tennis get-together with 'friends'? Absurdity heaped on absurdity. How much can I stand?
The fellow got pissed that I was too much better than him and apparently not taking it easy enough on him. In truth I played at about 50% but apparently that was still way too much. Did he bother to say hit them a bit easier? No. Did he have a problem when we played before? No. But this time our wives were there. So he just suddenly quits with no warning and throws a hissy fit. I was apparently embarrassing him in front of his woman, because I'm better then him at effing tennis. For the record both wives thought his behavior bizarre.
They just don't understand how us disgusting men think.
Most attempts to be nice to other men who seem unhappy are taken in a negative way as they're busy trying to compete with you to be an alpha male. (And with respect to the tennis example, this fellow finally threw his fit when I showed concern that he seemed a bit sluggish out there, maybe his lunch was sitting heavy with him..? So it's me truly just trying to be nice, sensing that something was wrong and trying to show empathy/compassion. Him taking it as explained above. And actually seeming lackadaisical just because he was pissed.) Most attempts to be nice to women are taken as sexual advances.
And so I'm annoyed that all interactions reduce to the mundane and meaningless and yet I'm surrounded by people like this, who can't even manage a pleasant bit of meaningless tennis.
Such is life. Enjoy!
And smile!
..but does this mean that women are better? That they don't have such alpha male concerns?
Excuse the stereotyping but generally speaking they're constantly judging each other on the basis of status, on what they've accumulated in life, on their possessions: husband, house, car, job, the cleanliness of their homes, their cooking skills... but primarily: possessions.
...I've seen over and over again that men end up conversing with women online far more so than men with men or women with women. I've wondered if it's just entirely for sexual reasons? I think not entirely. Is it because men have such a fear of being perceived as gay? Not entirely. No idea really how much of a role such a thing plays. Occasionally I try to get other's thoughts on the subject, from both straight and queer people. Always just get silence in return. I guess the only thing I could ever get other than silence or denial of this as a legitimate phenomenon would be someone admitting that the fear of being perceived as gay does cause them to be relatively cold to other men. And with respect back to the endless alpha male battle, not too many people admit negatives about themselves.
A third possibility: this alpha male thing, where to an extent each man feels like he's competing with all other men, thus he doesn't want to confide so much with them, they're the enemy while women are much safer. And perhaps the same in return? Although still it seems like less of a concern for women, no matter judging each other based on possessions...
But if gay, then such concerns go out the window? No idea how that works.
